6 Ways Wise People Deal With Disappointment

by Ang L. Beauty Editor

“I’m disappointed in you.” This is a very common phrase in our daily’s lives, particularly when things didn’t go well as expected and you feel frustrated. While the study of this emotion is just in its infancy, there is a definite physiological facet as to why your brain experiences it. In this post, I’m going to share with you tips on how to deal with disappointment before it turns to conditions like depression. But before we get there, what exactly is a disappointment?

What Is Disappointment And How Does It Occur?

From clinical theories, disappointment is the psychological reaction when one gets an outcome that isn’t what she or he expected. It’s a way in which someone experiences sadness and its intensity is defined by the level of imbalance between the expectations and outcome.

Disappointment is a psychological driver in your brain and it forces you to accept the reality through a course of events. These events comprise what we can call psychological setup or causes of disappointment. They include:

1. You have been caught up in a situation where the outcome is uncertain

2. You are surprised you didn’t get the positive outcome. This is common with perfectionists who live in an imaginary world and get to believe life is perfect. Thus, they should be perfect as well. If they do a test and get 99, for instance, they get angry they didn’t get 100.

3. Setting impractical goals and then you’re surprised you didn’t achieve the outcome. A good example is when you set a goal of becoming a millionaire in three months when you surely know you only earn $1000/ month.

4. Being overconfidence and you hope for more from yourself.

5. When you have false ideas about failure and rejection

6. You’re good but weren’t able to control the outcome.

Effects of disappointment

Once you experience any of the above events and you get disappointed, that emotion stimulates the Parasympathetic Nervous System. The role of this system is to control the “rest-and-digest” activities that happen when the body is resting. But once there’s a feeling of disappointment, this Parasympathetic Nervous System triggers a chemical response.

This will then lead to melancholy and a feeling of hopelessness, which can lead to life-threatening stress-induced disorders. Some of them include digestive disorders, depressed immune system, and even heart disease.

Therefore, if you are naturally aggressive, moody, and low-esteemed or easily annoyed you have to learn how to deal with disappointment. Otherwise, you will cut short your life with something you should have controlled easily.

How to Deal With Disappointment Effectively

Many people usually are able to work through their disappointments successfully. Others, nonetheless, tend to struggle and that’s why you’ll find them depressed and with disorders like ulcers.

Once you’re able to deal with disappointment, you not only promote the health of your immune system but you start leading a normal happy life. Some of the ways you can do this include:

Manage Expectations

An expectation is often defined as the root of all heartache. Just as I stated earlier, disappointment always will be there if your hopes are not in match with reality. For you to avoid this feeling of discontent, you need to look closely at your expectations and understand what has happened. While some situations are unavoidable and beyond your control, you have to differentiate between the possible and impossible. Don’t just get frustrated because your products didn’t sell as you had hoped.

Create realistic goals

While analyzing your expectations, you have to make sure they are reasonable and realistic. Come up with achievable goals without being over-optimistic or aiming too high. A goal like becoming a millionaire in four months is being impractical if you know well you only make like $1000/ month.

Turn disappointment into opportunity

Instead of focusing on the negative things, redirect your energy on the positive and something constructive. Don’t rely much on the unmet expectations which will lead to unnecessary stress. Be like a wise businessman who sees failure as a pillar of strength and grow from your disappointment. Don’t let it be your reason for downfall but a key to determination. Doing this will even give you peace of mind and a smile in your heart.

Stop worry and start living

According to Dale Carnegie who authored How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, you shouldn’t let small things that you ought to despise and forget upset you. “Life is too short to be little”, so, why waste your time worrying when there’s that one thing you are good at. “If You Have A Lemon, Make A Lemonade,” says Dale who developed some of the greatest courses in self-improvement.

Don’t take it personally

Some people usually consider their negative life events as their failings. They believe they’re the cause of the outcome and they deserve it. The true reality about life is that it doesn’t care if you’re good or not. It will always do what it does, whether you’re there or not. “You shouldn’t be disappointed with what has turned today… everything is at it should by the universe’s edict,” says Brendon Burchard, a High Performance Coach.

So learn to allow and accept the reality as it is.

Always be positive and Wise

To cope with disappointment effectively, you have to prevent it from deteriorating into apathy and depression. Stop preoccupying your mind with negative news which will make you lose sight of what is right and build up sadness and anger. Try much not take people's opinions and reactions to heart. “As a wise person, understand that everyone has a unique perspective and not all are wise,” states Jill Whitney, marriage and family therapist.

Switch your focus to other things that would make you feel positive and happy. There are many simple and easy ways to stay happy and positive.

Conclusion

As a natural feeling, disappointment is not there to destroy us, unless we allow it to. In spite of its devastating effect, it can strengthen and broaden your insight and wisdom. Whatsoever, you have to look in-depth and reevaluate your expectations to gain from it.

According to William Shakespeare, “Expectation is the root of all heartache” and if not managed, it will swallow you whole. But since you now know how to deal with disappointment, it’s my hope it will not consume you or reach to a point of getting depression.