Sock Warning
Read this before you wear another pair of socks
The Socks Have A Plan
Socks
are really space aliens. They landed on this planet thousands of years
ago, with the sole purpose of taking over earth. Hold your horses!
Before you call the men in the white coats, hear me out.
Point
#1 Gas Warfare. You know that people's feet smell because of socks. Oh
people say it's the shoes, but it's the socks for sure. I'm sure many a
time someone's foot oder just about took you out forever.
Point
#2 Germ Warfare. Socks provide a breeding ground for all kinds of
germs. A nice warm, moist area is perfect for Athlete's foot and other
diseases. Oh, they tell you it's from showers, but that's just
propaganda released by the socks.
Point #3 Economic Warfare. How
many times have you washed socks to only have one disappear? That's the
socks attacking or financial stability. Do you realize the thousands of
dollars that are spent on sock replacement? The money spent on medical
costs from the stress we go through looking for the missing sock. Not to
mention the disappointment of not finding it. All this money could be
invested in a defense system that would repel the socks when they
attack.
Point #4 Spies. Where do you think these missing socks
go? Don't think too hard. I have the answer. They sneak out and do
reconnaissance. They are mapping our waterways, electrical grid, our
whole infrastructure. We will be defenseless when they attack.
Point
#5 Violence. How many of us have had a toe poke through a hole in our
sock? How does the hole get there? The sock is protected by the shoe.
It's a form of sock attack. You leave that toe in that hole long enough
and the circulation will stop. Doctor's will be amputating you blackened
toe."One toe at a time" is the sock battle cry. Take our ten toes and
we can't run. Easy prey for the sock invasion.
You can see that
my arguments have merit. Now we must organize and defeat (oh bad pun)
the evil socks. Until that time comes build your bomb shelters. Stock up
on food and water. Above all............start going barefoot.