When you find yourself saying “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you need to find ways to move forward with your life.  No matter how bad the break up was, there is life after your ex.  Finding your way through the depression that follows the end of the relationship can be hard.  That’s why you need to take concrete actions to move forward.

First of all, you need to work on bringing closure to the relationship.  Closure is the process by which you move on from a situation.  While you may find specific situations in which you say, “I miss my ex girlfriend,” you will not be in this state all of the time.

Begin by definitively saying that the relationship is over.  As long as you think there is a chance that you can get your ex back, you will not be able to move on.  Healing begins with putting an end to the relationship.

Next, you need to physically close the relationship.  You do that by exchanging all of the possessions in the other’s care.  Give her back the toothbrush and curling iron she kept at your house and ask her for the sweat shirt that she had borrowed for the long term.  If you owed each other money, settle up.

Once you have your possessions back, give yourself some physical space.  While you may want to remain friends with your ex in the long run, staying away in the short term will facilitate healing.  Don’t call, text, or email each other.  If she tries to contact you, screen her out.  

And, don’t show up at places she is likely to be.  You don’t want to give her any opening to get under your skin.  Seeing her with another guy so soon will just prompt feelings of “I miss my ex girlfriend” all over again.

You may even need to change some of your social habits.  If you go to a small church, you might want to consider changing places of worship at least in the short term.  You may have to pick a new favorite bar or hang out as well.

When you start going new places, you will inevitably meet new people.  Some of these people will be female.  These new women are good prospects for dates.

While it may seem right now that you’ll never want to date another woman, the truth is that the sooner you get back on the dating scene, the sooner you will begin to heal.

It may not be enough to just be available though.  Consider actively seeking out women.  Take a class at the local university’s extension program.  Join a co-ed softball team.  Take up a new hobby.  All of these strategies will allow you to start meeting new women.

If a woman intrigues you, ask her out even if you can’t picture yourself in a long term relationship with her.  A date is just a fun social experience, not a commitment.

Pretty soon, you won’t be saying “I miss my ex girlfriend” nearly as frequently.  You will have moved on with your life.

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