FREELAND
JOKES
by MANU
MANU 
?Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).
?Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
?A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
?A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
?There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice....
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
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U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
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Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
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Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
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Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
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Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You
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Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
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SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created!
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A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
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There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
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Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part?
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Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
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Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!
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Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.
Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential.
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Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
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I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"
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What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
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Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
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Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
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We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
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I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
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Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
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When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
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My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a "Tubelight
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Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
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The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
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so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
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Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about your?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
---
Sep 26th 2007 02:04
?Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life sentence!).
?Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and Suffering.
?A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes.
?A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
?There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries, I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice....
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football & the game went into extra time.
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... & the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz incoming is free for me... my friend!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4 Creating A *Master-Piece*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb You
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have created!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet, tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose. Max: There was in this one!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a brain.
Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine.. as it gets older it gets sweter.. just like you and me.. you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light dinner.... & to say say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is too dear and a monkey is U dear.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind older and i am getting sweeter.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So Plz start brushing regularly
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a "Tubelight
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your Friend-Ship
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might spread!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile. How about your?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2 find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
---
Sep 26th 2007 02:04
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