Emotional Acceptance: Why Feeling Bad is Good

According to recent psychological research (by David Barlow, Steven Hayes and others) one of the main causes of many psychological problems is the habit of emotional avoidance. This may seem surprising, because the attempt to avoid negative emotions appears to be a reasonable thing. After all, negative emotions don't feel good, and they are often linked in our minds to negative events that we want to avoid or forget. Moreover, we are all familiar with the momentary relief that avoidance can provide. If the thought of speaking up upsets me, then I can make myself feel better by deciding not to speak. Indeed, avoidance is an effective solution in the short term. Long term, however, it becomes a bigger problem than whatever was being avoided in the first place. And life, if you're at all lucky, is a long term proposition. (Published on September 8, 2010 by Noam Shpancer, Ph.D. in Insight Therapy)

Short term gain Avoiding a negative emotion buys you short term gain at the price of long-term pain.

After experiencing difficult emotions they always are followed sensations and emotions in the body. Then we tend to automatically react negatively, instead of friendly changing our attention right into the areas of the body where we feel pain or discomfort. If we do so, we do note these directly and the long-term effects begin immediately. By doing this we are shorting the reaction patterns in the brain that trigger avoidance.

We also disrupt the automatic neural connections between body, emotion and thought that consolidate vicious circles and depressive spiral. In the long term this leads to developing more constructive and sensible way of dealing with these experiences that we have regarded as negative. We see them no longer as evil and scary, because if we see them like that we are going to trigger avoidance. This in turn means that we get stuck there. But if we begin to see the unpleasant experiences as  they are, take them for what they are; transient mental phenomena or events, feelings and thoughts, and make us  interested in examining them, be curious, instead of being afraid of those emotions that we have learn to see as bad events and that we have learned to hate. We might as well invite them because they are already there.
Even anxiety is actually just a feeling, a creation of your own brain, nothing to be afraid of...

Having a lifestyle based on mindfulness you avoid stressful situations that often result in confusion and hasty decisions.

Mindfulness gives you the knowledge to understand and deal with everyday situations being conscious in the presence.

You learn better to cope creatively with stress and difficulty by using your own natural senses.

Current research and scientific studies clearly show that people who use the mindfulness experience a clear improvement in depression, anxiety and chronic pain.

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Isabelle Esling   published author-certified teacher- I am positively minded, but when i happen to feel bad, i go through my feeling, i feel it with all its intensity and then allow to let it go...i was raised in a way never to show how i felt, but i understood that one should never fake emotions...the best is to let them out, cry all you need to cry until you feel better... Feb 22nd 2013 15:53

Ulla Sarja  Psychotherapist, educator, coach That is what mindfulness is about; not to try to let your thougths and feeling be there , actually the opposite, you shall try to see every feeling, emotion etc, to know that is is just a feeling, like clouds passing by, and let it go... Feb 22nd 2013 16:51 1 Likes

Isabelle Esling   published author-certified teacher- yes, not denying any feeling, just being in full acceptance of it and then letting it go:))) Feb 22nd 2013 16:58 1 Likes

Ulla Sarja  Psychotherapist, educator, coach Yes, that is what I mean :)) Feb 23rd 2013 01:13 1 Likes

Sonera Jhaveri  Psychotherapist in Mumbai Sonera is a psychotherapist who specializes in counselling psychology, individual, family, couples, group and cognitive behaviour therapy in Mumbai, India Address: Flat No. Ground Floor, Firdaus,, 1, Vitthaldas Thackersey Marg, New Marine Lines, Marine Lines, Mumbai, Maharashtra 400020 Phone:09820023623 May 24th 2016 03:48