Deep Breathing And Patience Is Best Way To Stop Yelling At Your Kids

Young children are in an exploratory stage and are mastering language skills. As they gain speech proficiency they also try to develop skills to deal with frustrating situations. Toddlers and young children feel anger or disobedience is the best way for them to exhibit emotion. Their language skills are limited and they lack proper reasoning ability but they want to make an impact. They want to be heard so they misbehave and parents yell back at them in displeasure.

As they grow older, the child’s anger remains as strong as before and they become more voluble. These children express anger indirectly stating that they can handle their environment and independence. The children are emphasising their personality and want to be heard all the time. You can call it their indirect power struggle! How do you react when your child refuses to listen to you and exhibits anger?  You end up yelling at them to establish your authority and this is where we make a grave mistake. How to stop yelling at your kids?

The children become a party to the “most disliked and unacceptable behaviour”! With open eyes they see their parent rant, rave and yell. They see their parents react in a way that is looked down upon by society. This is confusing for the child. Angry behaviour, loud noises and lashing out gets the thumbs up and becomes acceptable behaviour because the parents are indulging in it themselves. The elders indirectly teach kids that reasoning is not important but retaliation to the situation is! They teach the child to lose temper in a tough situation.

The parents need to understand that their reaction to the child’s behaviour is because they are expected to be in a number of places and make loads of decisions at the same time. This is an automatic response that is basically not approved. The parent loses control and gets furious. Yelling is “more” socially acceptable than hitting the child and he goes for it. This is the best way to reprimand a child without raising the hand. But is it good behaviour by parents?

There are a few things to remember- “How to stop yelling at your kids?”

1. You have to be an example for your child at all times.
2. The kids have their eyes set on you and closely monitor you every step of the way.
3. You need to stay calm, collected and composed even if you want to yell at your child for his misbehaviour.
4. Control your emotions at all times no matter how stressed you are because if you lose your temper your toddler’s emotions get escalated.
5. You are his model and he will ape whatever you do. Talk calmly politely and reason out with your child in a balanced tone.
6. You scare your child with your angry words. His emotions are already heightened and yelling at him will worsen the situation.
7. Look at your child carefully as he helplessly looks on as you shower a tirade of angry words on him. Count till ten, take a few deep breaths and think logically. Lower your tone and rationalise with your child.
8. Make deep breathing and patience a regular habit and it will soon be a part of your personality. You are the protector of these tender sensitive nervous systems. You can’t scare them!

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