The play on words smiles

The Grim Reaper came for me last night , and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death. A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.... I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin , 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself , they've lost the plot!! My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70!!! Blow this , I thought , I can get one cheaper off the web. I was at an ATM yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance , so I pushed her over. I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move. I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself that guy's heading for a breakdown. Statistically , 6 out of 7 dwarves are not Happy. My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning , can you believe that , 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes. Paddy says "Mick , I'm thinking of buying a Labrador ."Bugger that" says Mick "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"