> Writing any advertising? See if it catches our attention...

> Writing any advertising? See if it catches our attention... Here is an advert I was using on List Builders and it has netted me over 100 signups. What do you think folks? Subject:   ~fname~,"PeopleString" - ?Where You Own the Web?. Message:   ~fname~,  I am delighted to bring PeopleString to your attention! ==>  http://1-n-2-makes-3.me.uk/CpsP.html    . It is a bit like Facebook - BUT - With one BIG difference. . It Pays You Real Money! - It is Free To Join! - And Free To Earn! . There is nothing to Sell!! - There is nothing to Buy!! . Yes - Even as a free member you can earn really BIG Bucks!!! . The Social Network That Pays You To Do The Things You Are Already Doing Online! .  Do not Waste Another Minute! - Get The Facts Here Today! . ==>  http://1-n-2-makes-3.me.uk/CpsP.html . .       So I hear you ask = What Is People String?      --------------------------------------------    PeopleString is ?Where You Own the Web?. It is the new wave in relationship and social communities; it has the Creativity, Culture, Expressive Forums and places to meet new people and network; but now it combines all that with giving you a share in the revenues that are created by the users of the website. The ?other? social sites keep all of the money for themselves and never give any to their users.  They are making millions off of your actions and keeping it all. . PeopleString shares the revenues that are generated by its members.        This is unique for online social communities. Who other than PeopleString gives its members back 70% of the revenues? ~fname~, To Find Out More Right Now - Just Register Here, After watching the video that explains all about PeopleString: ==>  http://1-n-2-makes-3.me.uk/CpsP.html . . . . .Still not sure?  Check out our letters series with no obligation that explains in full detail how PeopleString functions. . ==>  http://1-n-2-makes-3.co.uk/ps.html . You can Unsubscribe any time with just one click. .  "PeopleString"  -  ?Where You Own the Web?. ---------- End of Advert ----------   Now be kind - any help with adjusting from you experianced copywriters would be fine. It is my first go at doing something Proffesional in writing.