These "Laws" Should Be Made Official

Law of Bio-mechanics – The severity of an itch is inversely proportional to the reach. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll want to pee. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.. Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. While those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk. Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.