Writing About My Life- LOL! It's My 55th Birthday! What Astonishing Discoveries I've Made....

Age 1 to 5- Discovering that-"Gravity Really Works!" by: Falling down stairs; Trying to ride tricycle off porch (in an attempt to fly); Sending a load of laundry out the window (Reason Unknown) and into muddy backyard... Punishment- Sent to Room and Grounded For Week. Age 6 to 13- Discovering the " Explosive Properties Of Natural Gas" while trying to cook. Discovering that Females hit you because they like you. Trying to "Skip School..." never really works- especially when your school is sitting right in the middle of the damn neighborhood. Discovering through "Imperical Method" of research that Females have fantasticly attractive "Physical Differences..." and enjoying my "Findings". Punishment: "Grounded For Life" for Gas Explosion. "Grounded for Month" for "Skipping School" attempt. "Sentenced to Life for "Research and Findings" about Females (But who cares?). Age 14 to 19- Realized that I learned how to read at age 3 from medical text in my uncle's library, and that all the stuff that I learned is now being made into "X" rated movies. Discovered that I can actually cook well and safely... No one has ever died because of my cooking, although my brother lost all of his facial hair (It grew back), in aforementioned Gas Explosion. Still making wonderful "Findings" about Females... Punishment: Sentenced to find something called a "Job"... Again "Grounded For Life" for shocking Mom nearly to death with "Artistic" paintings of Females that decorated my first apartment- She should have called first... Age 20 to 26- Discovered that I hated "Jobs" but "Loved Money" so I became a part-tome Bartender. Discovered that "Party-ing" can become a "Job"... Started thinking about "Photograpy Business" because of aquaintances with "In The Biz" folks- like exotic dancing Females... Also discovered "Life In Corporate America" was no fun for Freedom loving people like me, Punishment- Sentenced to "Have many Jobs that I hated and only One that I Loved" by "Unseen Forces" Age 27 to 32- Discovered that Nature loves me and proves it by sending nearly every species of Animal, Insect, Bacteria or Virus my way, whenever I go camping... Discovered that I loved camping more than I loved City Life... Made plans to start business in whatever field I could think of from cooking to music to photography, and started business in all three of them plus kept "Job" in Corporate America (I think I was a little insane back then). Punishment: Sentenced to "Nightmares" of becoming "Trapped Behind A Desk" if I didn't succeed in my businesses... Age 38 to 44- Discovered that "Juggling and Struggling" is not a pleasant Lifestyle and began to make plans for Escape from "Hellish" People, Places and Things. Discovered that my sense of Humour and Love of Life are much better at keeping me Alive and Healthy that I ever imagined. Discovered the Joy of having the Love of several Wonderful Women in my Life is a Very Good Thing and make plans to keep it that way. Punishment: Sentenced to "Calm Down and Love Life" for Eternity. Age 48 to 55- Retired from Corporate America. Discovered that I could make money for myself by doing what I actually loved... DUH! Also sentenced to "Kick Self In A**" for not realizing it sooner- People all around me do it all the time- Writers, Photographers, Cooks and Chefs-Marketing, Advertising Selling... (All are skills that I have) have actual PEOPLE working in them! I'm not a corporate "grunt"! Punishment: Sentenced to Freedom for ever- Now that is a torment that I can LIVE with! LOL!:) Anyhoo- I really do Celebrate My Life, and I always have- the bumps and bruises, the twists of Fate- The Winning Hugs and Kisses, the Jokes and Jokers... The outline of discoveries that I have listed above is just that... an outline. There is no realy way the I could possibly "Fill it in" with the richness of my Life, Love and Laffs... My fingers would probably get serious cramps that would not allow me to raise my Martini glass in a toast to You!:) Cheers!