Life Story Laffs

Happy New Years Heave! Funny Hangover Cures And Soft Music For Your Aching Head!

by Jeff Greene Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing...
So ya went ahead and did it anyway, didn't ya? "Party Til Ya Potty!" That's your motto, Eh?  

 Well now there's a Beer Swilling, Scottish Gnome- From-Hell pounding out Auld Lang Syne on your brain... From the inside of your head, no doubt, and you are either afraid you are going to die, or afraid that you won't...


 Well, "Here I Come To Save The Day!", as Mighty Mouse might say, if you haven't thrown the Telly out of the window yet...


 As you know, I'm a Foodie-- I believe that most of our dis- eases can be cured by eating something good, as well as drinking something nourishing, but as most sufferers of really Academy Award Winning Hangovers will gently tell you...


"Get that flippin' food away from me, You Idiot!"


 And then proceed to quiver, quake and "Go Volcanic" at the very whiff of anything edible...

 My Life as a Food and Beverage Dude have brought me many years of wisdom and experience in coping with this annoying condition, and I'm well versed in the righting of your "Ships" and correcting your courses on this tossing and surging "Sea " that you are an unfortunate piece of Flotsam on, at the moment.

 My worst hangovers might occur after Wine Tastings.  Wines, especially rich, thick, full-bodied reds, naturally contain a lot of "Conigers", that is pieces of stuff that aren't filtered out... The mainly are wines that are truly aged in the bottle, and because of that forced confinement, they are out to get you...


Their leavings settle in your gut, and if you are foolish enough to drink such wines on an empty stomach, well I don't know what to say about that..

 I'll prepare for such tastings by eating lots of oily salads and fiberous breads-- Leave cheeses for later, their slow digestion times can really muck up your system... Lot's of pure water and unsweetened tea, and when I say "lots ", I mean drinking as much as you can hold-- The Idea is to flush the offending particles out of your Life!

 Champagnes and Beers also have these particles, plus carbonation as weopons to destroy our very Existance... Oddly, it's a form of carbonation that usually the cure for that gassy, queasy, bloated feeling.

 Baking soda in water, and a couple of glasses of water with natural lemon juice, seem to neutralise that devilish bloat... Something to with the acid/alkali balance maybe. Also prepare to "Toot" a lot... it really helps! :)

 Whiskeys and Gin and Vodka-- Higher alcohol content and a tendancy for people to disrespect these spirit's true Power, can make for a much miserable next 24 hours...


 Vodka, as in "Double Martini, Shaken not Stirred.." Means that you are drinking 6 to 8 ounces of the stuff-- Very few conigers exist in good Vodka, and the body might accept it better than Whiskey or Gin, but beware-- Your over- consumption of this one, can play havoc with your head and gut-- Causing incredible headaches that actually give you nausea... Watch Out..


 Good Food and drinking water while you are consuming these spirits, is essential, especially If you are the type who wants to wake up without bumping your head on a coffin lid...


 Coffee, in these cases, is "The Liquid Of The Gods and Goddesses"! I'll consume about 32 ounces of real, perked or brewed coffee after a session with stronger drinks... Food is next, and a lot of it... Leafy veggies and pasta, soups and stews, make the stomach and intestines work for you. Walk a lot-- Big Breaths and a brisk pace, choose a destination that you just love to go to...

 And, if you are inclined to drink Tequila and/or Mescal or Pitu, make sure that there is a Hospital with a good ER along the way... Their staff will help you quiet the Latin Revolution that being fought in your body and breathing pure Oxygen will get you high enough to oversee the whole thing! :) LOL!


http://www.rupissed.com/pissedlinks.html
Dec 30th 2007 15:05

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Comments

Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Our family has a wonderful traditional hangover cure originated by my mom. Unfortunately folks who live alone cannot take advantage of it. I was all of 16 and came home wasted one night. They next morning I had the Hangover from hell.

At 6 am I endured the worst torture you could imagine. My mother who never cooked breakfast in her life decided the family should sit down to a full course country breakfast. Since my bedroom was right next to the kitchen you can imagine the suffering I went through. And she made it a point to emulate the sound of 1000 jackhammers by banging every pot and pan in the kitchen on the counter. By the time she had finished cooking and I had been forced to join everyone at the table I had sworn on my grandmother's bible never to get wasted to that point again. My brother didn't help by telling me I was a shade of brownish green he'd never seen before.
Dec 31st 2007 07:44   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
I can say for a fact that people who have their first earth shattering hangover at an early age, usually never forget it...

A hangover at that age is a "Rite Of Passage" that will sometimes cause a person to know and set their "limits"! :)

Of course, I could be wrong, but I'm still very much aware of my first real hangover at 15...

Never Again! LOL! :)
Dec 31st 2007 15:10   
Jennifer Underwood Professional   Promoter
I WILL NEVER FORGET MINE!!! And I don't think my x or my cousin will forget me going from one room to the other puking my guts out....(thank god I don't remember it) Just remember waking up and wishing I was DEAD! lol
But I do know this....tequila STINKS!


LMAO!!
Dec 31st 2007 15:17   
Jennifer Underwood Professional   Promoter
I have also learned to drink Gatorade after a night of partying...always seems to help me.

Be SAFE all of you tonight! PLEASE DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE!!!



Dec 31st 2007 15:18   
Cheryl Baumgartner Professional Premium   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
If your friends are going to be partying ans you aren't let them know you are available to play taxicab. It may be a little inconvenient but it's worth it when you know your friends will be there tomorrow!
Dec 31st 2007 15:30   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Rent a bus/ limo / carriage/ horse... In this city it's not even a good idea to drink and WALK! LOL!

Please be safe, not matter what! :)

How's the music?
Dec 31st 2007 15:42   
Jennifer Underwood Professional   Promoter
LOL...Jeff, I was gonna say a horse....

Hey...Did I tell ya'll I got one for xmas???? Well, he won't be ready until March :0)


Dec 31st 2007 16:04   
Jennifer Underwood Professional   Promoter
Music is GREAT btw!!

Dec 31st 2007 16:04   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Well, then he'll be a birthday horse! :)

Congratulations, Jenn!

Dizzler is great for music, video and stuff-- I'm it trying it out and you wouldn't believe the stuff you can find, and it's all on one widget! :)
Dec 31st 2007 16:13   
Jeff Greene Committed   Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
BTW-- I woke up at midnight and toasted you all... Then went back to bed-- the flu is trying to attack me-- A little bit of Maker's Mark and food is my prescription, and I'll be in bed all day, so no "Party" for me, until this weekend! :)
Jan 1st 2008 16:40   
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