Life Story Laffs
Open Letter To A Supermarket Chicken Mangler! LOL!
by Jeff Greene Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Jeff Greene 
Online Marketing...
This letter is directed to the mindless woman who poked, prodded and very nearly intimately assaulted a supermarket chicken the other day... before putting it back in the bin!!!
Lady, if it occurs to you that you are not going to buy that particular piece of poultry within 20 seconds after you look at the price lable-- Why on Earth would you squeeze,poke, pat and sniff the poor thing for another five minutes?
I am truly glad that you didn't have a SPECULUM with you because you probably would have used it (!)
Surely you must realize that meats and poultry become bruised by this behavior, so much so that nobody will want to buy it, and it will then go to waste. This, in turn, causes the merchant to raise prices so that he can cover his losses, which in turn, affects all of us!
Please have a care and mind your hands when examining a potential purchase of meats and poultry...
PS:
Don't let me get started on the subject of "Produce Pounding"!!!
Oct 18th 2007 13:38
Online Marketing...This letter is directed to the mindless woman who poked, prodded and very nearly intimately assaulted a supermarket chicken the other day... before putting it back in the bin!!!
Lady, if it occurs to you that you are not going to buy that particular piece of poultry within 20 seconds after you look at the price lable-- Why on Earth would you squeeze,poke, pat and sniff the poor thing for another five minutes?
I am truly glad that you didn't have a SPECULUM with you because you probably would have used it (!)
Surely you must realize that meats and poultry become bruised by this behavior, so much so that nobody will want to buy it, and it will then go to waste. This, in turn, causes the merchant to raise prices so that he can cover his losses, which in turn, affects all of us!
Please have a care and mind your hands when examining a potential purchase of meats and poultry...
PS:
Don't let me get started on the subject of "Produce Pounding"!!!
Oct 18th 2007 13:38
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Comments
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantIf it was "Food In The Wild" that kind of stuff would be expected, but darn near everything is sold at it's peak of freshness or ripeness, any way! DUH! LOL! Dec 12th 2007 12:02 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
  Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceI personally hate the watermelon thumpers and tomato mashers! Dec 19th 2007 16:01 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantThose poor veggies go through Hell every day! I'll bet that a Durian would make those thumpers change their tune! LOL! :) Dec 19th 2007 16:24 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceThe Durian would probably clear the entire produce dept Dec 19th 2007 16:27 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantAs I walk through the Chinatown food district just about every day- I've noticed that the most lethal veggies and fruits like the chickoo and the "Veggie Hand Grenade" Ampulaya always look great... Not many people mis-handle the Live Snapping Turtles either, I wonder why? LOL! :) Dec 19th 2007 16:32 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantOh and the live Blue Claw Crabs ( On sale for $5.00 a dozen!) don't recieve much mangling either! :) Apr 30th 2008 07:55 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceLive blue crab claws or any live crab claws for that matter mangle back LOL! Apr 30th 2008 08:37 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantI wanna cook up a bunch of 'em and slather them with lots of Garlic, Butter and Olive Oil... A big plate of handmade Ribbonari is gonna meet it's fate tonite as I celebrate May Day's arrival... :) Apr 30th 2008 09:29 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurancehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CUlqEmreqbs This is why crabs don't get mangled! Don't blame me if you laugh so hard you pee your pants! Apr 30th 2008 11:44 |
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Arthur Webster
 Just plain honestyNo - not mangled - just boiled alive. Maybe they would prefer to be mangled? At least the young hoousewives of today don't do much damage when they squeeze the tins! Apr 30th 2008 12:03 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantI have a true story called 'One Not-So- Bright Woman VS. 48 Live Crabs"... This is begging to be posted, But will have to get her daughter's permission first-- The lady passed away not so long ago... And although I loved her and her daughter very much-- She's has got to be one of the flat-out DITZIEST dames in the Afterlife! LOL! :) Apr 30th 2008 12:03 |
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Cheryl Baumgartner
Medical Billing/Coding/InsuranceWell I will share my mom's true story. Since she laughed about it up until the day she passed I think she would appreciate me passing it along. I was probably about 14 years old when we bought a bushel of crabs and set about cooking them. A bushel was not that expensive at the time, somewhere around a dollar a dozen. Anyway when we arrived home it was our intention to have a few dozen for the family and sell the rest but word got out and we ended up selling all but one dozen. We cleaned up the kitchen and went to bed already planned our next trip to the seafood market. In the middle of the night my step dad and I awoke to a scream followed by a very colorful round of cursing. We got up only to find my mom holding a very large crab in her hand coming from the bathroom and headed to the kitchen. The crab had somehow escaped his fate, made his way to the bathroom and hid behind the toilet waiting for a victim. It seems Sebastian waited for her to perch on the throne in t e darkness and attacked her feet. A valiant effort on Sebastian's part but ended up with him in the pot at 3am! Talk about scaring the pee out of somebody...literally! Apr 30th 2008 12:39 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantI know that your Mom was a Libra, like me... Of course that's the kind of thing we will laff about forever, it's almost like we welcome the funnier side of stuff that happens to us... Like the time I got jammed into a basement doorway by a large refrigerator that I was trying (Alone) to move for my brother... I had forgotten about his attack dogs, who waited to go ballistic on me, after they made sure that I wasn't him... I had to fight them off for 15 minutes with a broom... And then climb out of the basement window, where I was immediately nabbed by a scared cop-- With gun drawn.... This is the kind of stuff that only a Libra can laff about! :) Apr 30th 2008 12:53 |
That is so funny! I see it quite often too.
How about finger nail markings on the fruit and veggies?
What in the world is up with that? lol. Yuck! Do they have to dig in the flesh to see if it's ripe..NOT!!! I've never caught them in the act, but see these weird markings all the time.
Dec 12th 2007 11:57