Fear of Rejection
Is your fear of rejection making you lonely or broke?
Do you hold back from trying to start new relationships or pitching a product because you are worried that you will be rejected?
If a fear of rejection is holding you back from forming new friendships, relationships or obtaining your financial goals, there is help available. You can learn to greatly overcome your fear of getting rejected.
For business rejection - learn to realize that no really just means not now. And that it doesn't mean not never. Some people need to warm up to either new ideas or potential beneficial concepts.
Once you've given a prospect time to realize the benefit of your original offer. The chance of them saying YES the next time you offer is greatly increased. Go by the 7th time is a charm mentality when approaching your business can greatly increase the amount of sales you make even in the face of rejection.
On the second attempt after being rejected. You want to get a feel for how the individual feels, if they're still stand offish. Then retract some of the previous bonuses that maybe you mentioned, just to let them know. That the best deal isn't always available.
Always remember that NO just means not now, or that they're not ready. I usually give the prospect another week or month. But always revisit the ones that said no. Once you realize this, the fear of rejection just simply goes away.
One of the reasons why rejection can cause us so much difficulty is that in our minds we often tie rejection to so many other ugly words that cause us even more pain. Humiliated. Inadequate. Useless. Loser. Not good enough. Pathetic.
The more we dwell negatively upon an instance of rejection, the harder it becomes to get up the courage to face another occasion when we might get rejected again.
When we experience rejection, we can tell ourselves that we are doomed to be rejected forever; that any rejection from another person is proof that we are somehow not good enough, and that we were wrong to ever think that another person could like us.
But is this the only way to look at rejection? Remember that people who have healthy self- esteem, who are outgoing and who make lots of social overtures to others, get rejected too. The difference is that they don't feel nearly as troubled by rejection. They don't take it personally.
They don't view rejection as proof that they are flawed.
Rejection is often much more troubling to those people who are very emotionally sensitive, who have low self-esteem, or who have had a very dysfunctional or abusive childhood.
There is good news though. Even if you are very emotionally sensitive or shy, even if you didn't get much emotional support as you were growing up, you can still learn to change the way you talk to yourself about the experience of rejection. You will have to practice a lot to change the way you think about rejection, and you may need the help of a good therapist to point out new, more supportive ways of thinking.
A person with healthy self-esteem realizes that taking occasional social and emotional risks is a necessary part of developing relationships. If someone turns them down, they don't take it personally. They just move on and look for someone else who will be more receptive.
If you are troubled by what others think of you, you are also troubled by what you think of yourself.
If you fear the rejection of others, isn't it because you are too ready to reject yourself?
You can change what you say to yourself about rejection. Don't tie your self worth to whether or not you get accepted or rejected by other people.
- Take a series of baby steps when developing new relationships.
- Look for signs of receptiveness in the other person.
- Make many, many social approaches to other people.
One way that you can lessen the likelihood and frequency of rejection is to allow your relationships to develop slowly. Take baby steps. When relationships develop slowly, you must still make efforts to approach the other person, but your efforts will be low key and casual, rather than intense.
During each interaction with the person you wish to befriend, notice that person's body language and facial expressions. Are you getting encouraging smiles and nods? Is that person's body posture open or closed? Do you sense an eagerness to continue the conversation?
If the other person shows signs of enjoying your company and seems eager to continue your conversations, then he or she will probably be receptive to any overtures you make and any invitations you extend.
Don't give up.
When we give up interacting with others, not only do we give up some occasional pain and discomfort, but we also miss out on all the potential warmth, comfort, fun and excitement that other human beings can offer us.
Remember, if you never put yourself in a situation where someone can say "no" to you, you will also never be in a situation where someone can say "yes" to you.