When we split from a lover, we can either try getting over a relationship or try getting them back. It obviously depends on whether you still love your ex as to which one you chose.

If you do want your ex back, you need to make every attempt to achieve this.  You and only you know whether he or she makes you happy and would make your life complete.  Your family and friends may try to advise you but remember that they are not impartial.  They love you and hopefully want what is best for you but sometimes people act with their own interests in mind. 

If your friends are all single, they may have been jealous of your love affair and would prefer to keep you single.  If they didn’t like your partner, they are not going to encourage you to get him/her back.

Couples, as we know,  break up for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes there is no coming back from the split and you have to accept it. Often especially if it was caused by something trivial or a misunderstanding, you could salvage things if only one of you would swallow their pride and initiate contact. Usually this will have to be the man as society still thinks it is the man who should do the chasing. A woman who makes the first move can be seen as being desperate.

Examine your own feelings before you decide which option to choose. Do you want to get back with your ex, to dump them so they know how it feels? These are games for teenagers to play so if that is your motivation, do yourself a favour and move on. But if you really do believe this person to be your soul mate, you need to plan a way to get them back in your life.

Try enlisting the help of their family and friends. Now there is a fine line between asking for help and becoming a stalker so take it slowly.  Just happen to be at the places these people hang out i.e. bump into them by accident and see how ms/mr ex is doing. Make sure you are looking good so that the reports back are favourable. If you haven’t slept for days, plaster on the makeup. You do not want it going back to your lover that you looked miserable and suicidal. 

You could always try the direct approach and contact your former partner. Ask them out for a friendly drink or meal and see where it goes. You never know they could have been dying to make contact but were afraid that you would not entertain them.  People are funny creatures –they will often let fear of the unknown hinder their future happiness.

Whatever you decide, remember that we only get one shot at life. It is not a dress rehearsal. Getting over a relationship or getting back with your ex are both achievable, the question is which one do you want to succeed at?

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