Introduction to Premature Ejaculation and Its Causes

by Jade Lotus Sexual Healing | Sexual Transmutation | Sex Coachi

There is some debate over what exactly defines premature ejaculation.  It’s often defined as ejaculation before it’s desired, but there is a broad spectrum.  I have clients who will ejaculate before even entering into intercourse, others who can’t go as long as they want and always find that things end after 5 or 10 minutes and simply don’t feel satisfied with this.

Whether you are suffering from severe PE that is stopping you from having any kind of sex life, or are wanting to gain control so you can get more out of your love making experience, it’s essential to understand the physiological and energetic issues surrounding PE and how you can find solutions.

To introduce myself first, I work with clients around sexuality from a Taoist and Tantric perspective, and one of the main issues I work with is either PE or men wishing to last longer in bed.  My work involves bodywork, coaching and meditative and mindfulness techniques.

 

I use both western understanding of physiology and specifically the role of the fascia, psychology, and energetic techniques that come from Tantra and Taoism.

I have clients who suffered for decades are were dismissed by their doctors as having a permanent problem due to an oversensitive nerve.  But using the techniques that I will outline here; I have been able to offer all my client’s significant improvement if not total self-mastery.

Premature Ejaculation - Issues and Solutions

To understand premature ejaculation, lets first look at the physiology of the sexual organs.  The sexual organs, like the rest of our body, are covered in a layer of flesh called the fascia.  This is the skin like layer that is seen on a raw chicken before cooking and it covers the whole body.  It’s now being understood that tight fascia can cause problems all over the body.

This includes the genital area.  In particular, this can affect men who have been circumcised, especially if this has been done in a third world country in less than optimum medical conditions.  The injury causes the fascia in the genital area to tighten and this greatly increases the speed of ejaculation.  Specialist massage like Karsai Nei Tsang and medical genital bodywork address this problem, but if you notice that you have tension in that area, try to gently massage it to loosen your testicles.

The way most people masturbate doesn’t address the entire genitalia; in fact, it involves rough jerking of the end of the shaft of the penis.  The testicles, perineum and scrotum are often ignored.  While self-massage is a healthy way to get to know your body and has physical health benefits, rough jerking of the penis can have a detrimental effect on the fascia as well.

Let’s look now at psychological causes.  Our bodies are controlled by something called the autonomic nervous system.  This operates on two levels, the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system.  In layman’s terms this is relaxation and fight or flight.

The function of the autonomic nervous system effects our sexual function.  When we are in fight or flight, for women the response is to dry up and not to orgasm.  For men the result is the opposite, to ejaculate.  This is because if we are in danger, the best thing is to get it over with and run.

Now you may be thinking that of course this doesn’t apply to you but think again.  What if you have deeply conditioned beliefs in your subconscious telling you that sex is shameful?  These may not be beliefs that you are not consciously aware of, however a good proportion of my clients with PE come from deeply religious backgrounds.

What if you have experienced betrayal at the hands of a woman?  A classic example may be infidelity which you may be dismissing, but this is known to cause similar PTSD type symptoms to sexual assault.  Or perhaps you felt betrayed by your mum?  I am working with men who love their mothers but realise that they have a trauma relating to lack of physical affection as a child which created the belief that women will betray.

What this means is that in later life when you get close to a woman, these unconscious fears can come to the surface and your autonomic nervous system switches into flight or fight, causing you to rush with sex to avoid facing the emotions that come up. 

One simple way to start to work through this is by going very slow with awareness of what emotions you are experiencing, and to sit with those emotions.  It may not feel good.  Maybe you will even want to cry.  Stop, go slow and talk to your partner about what you are feeling.  Start to experience these feelings and unravel them and as you do so you will start to understand yourself better and be much more in control.

Thirdly, let’s look at how energy is affecting PE.  When I refer to energy, I am talking about energy as understood in Taoism and Tantra.  This is essentially the energy meridians used in acupuncture and it crosses over with what has been described already.

According to these philosophies, we have an energy meridian that starts in the perineum and takes our sexual energy up the body into the heart and the brain.  The chakras exist on this meridian.  The sexual energy transforms as it rises, transmuting into love, creativity and spiritual energy.  It’s sometimes referred to as a superfood for the soul because it’s powerful, life force energy.

Certain factors, essentially the factors we mentioned above, can cause contraction of the tissues which created energy or emotional blockages.  Tension in the groin will cause aroused sexual energy to be ejaculated very quickly as it can’t rise up.  Feelings of guilt and shame usually block a little higher up around the pubic bone, and fear of love will cause a blockage around the solar plexus.

This is another way of describing the problems mentioned above, but the reason I mention it is that Taoist and Tantric sexual healing is so powerful for addressing premature ejaculation.  Techniques of meditation can be used to clear the blockages, and traditional tantric healing massage with a good practitioner can clear through the blockages in a single session.

In fact, I find this technique so powerful that it transforms the sex lives of men who could not even have sex before, in one or two sessions.

What Caused Your Premature Ejaculation? And How to Correct That Cause With The Very Best PE Cure 

You may be wondering now what is causing your PE.  Be aware there is often a series of factors contributing to a greater of lesser extent, so don’t make the mistake of concluding that because you identify one the others don’t apply.

Start by addressing the physical aspects of your groin.  Gently massage your testicles on a daily basis, and if the scrotum is tight, gently start to loosen it.  When you self-pleasure, give attention to the entire groin area and be careful not to jerk too hard.  Introduce gentle play.

As you do this, start to become aware of your emotions around sex and in particular around women, if you sleep with a woman that is.  Do so with an open mind to the emotions that are coming up, accepting them, feeling them, and then letting them go.  You don’t need to worry about origins or get dragged too much into the story.

In this way you are able to start to re-program your brain to enjoy the sex you want.  Porn is an easy go-to that doesn’t involve the hassle of dealing with a woman and her emotions, and in general allows you to avoid yourself and real life.  But this will not allow you to develop and heal and will likely make matters worse.

Of course, don’t forget either to breathe.  Practice getting in touch with your breath, allowing your breath to move on its own, your belly rising with the inhale and falling with the exhale.  Learn to master your breathing and in doing so, to master your heart rate.  Ejaculation happens when your heart rate increases, and this can be controlled by using the breath to slow your heart.

Finally, start to get into your energy.  Many doctors hate to even recognise that sexual pleasure is energy moving.  But when you start to get into your body, perhaps self-pleasuring with your eyes shut and seeing what you feel, you will start to experience it.

The practice of edging is a great way. Not just to practice getting in control, it also allows you to tune into that energy and experience it.  You can feel how great it is to arouse the energy and then keep it.  This is an ancient technique to rejuvenate your body by channelling the life force that is sexual energy and keeping it.

Doing this can lead you to having full body orgasms which can be experienced multiple times as full body orgasms happen when you orgasm but don’t ejaculate, so there is no loss of seminal fluid and erection.

There is also specialist help available if you want to go deeper.  Taoist Sexual Alchemy is a meditation technique that allows you to systematically overcome blockages of emotional, energetic and sexual nature.  Practitioners find they gain a high degree of sexual and emotional self-mastery at the same time as an increase in overall health and sexual pleasure including experiencing full body orgasms.

Karsai Nei Tsang and Taoist massage is a fantastic way to address physical problems in the genital area.  Tantric and Taoist techniques can be used to unblock your energy to open the channels and give you that self-mastery you are after.  Of course, it’s good to have the experience of a healing tantric massage in a context, so getting your head around the idea of what is happening with your sexual energy and starting to take control as part of receiving a session is the way to get optimum results.

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Created on Sep 28th 2020 05:33. Viewed 460 times.

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