Articles

How To Stop Yelling At Kids Effectively?

by Mama Zen Mamazen
Calm Parenting—most of us aspire to it, desire it, and even promise ourselves we are going to do it, but it is so difficult to sustain. We know how important it is to parent from our principles rather than from our fears, but despite our best intentions we lose it and end up yelling at those we love the most — our kids.

Why? Actually for good reason. We usually blame our kids for our outbursts and convince ourselves that it’s because they don’t listen, are disrespectful, sassy, or misbehave. It is important to understand that these are just our triggers—actions, behavior or events that push our buttons and often make us react without thinking.

Added to that, we parents have strong feelings when it comes to parenting; they can run the gamut from fear, to sadness, to helplessness, and more. Parenting is a very personal experience and our feelings can easily get in our way of logic and wise reasoning.

After all, we are only human. Understand that all feelings are natural, normal and acceptable—but all behaviors are not. How to Stop Yelling at Kids? Challenge is to accept our feelings, but take control of our behavior when our strong feelings are triggered.

And what triggers our feelings so strongly? We are all vulnerable to different emotions that can set off an alarm bell inside of us. Some of us become easily angered and others deeply fearful. So many hurts and disappointments and struggles happen as we raise our kids, and each of these emotional experiences forces us to confront our true selves, our “unfinished business,” and our fears.

Parenting can expose us to our own deep, dark self—the pretty and not so pretty— some of which we were probably hoping to keep out of sight! These moments of awareness are painful and can get in the way of our desire and commitment to be calm and speak kindly and reasonably to our kids. Of course, our explosion leaves us feeling more guilty and hopeless as parents and the cycle continues.

When the sun is shining and all is going well we feel that we have this calm parenting thing under control. But when stress hits, buttons get pushed and heat starts rising all logic and reason and book smarts goes out the window and alarms start blaring.

Without realizing it, we are often parenting from a sense of panic, urgency and fear, reacting to triggers that are continually setting off internal alarms. Generally the logical part of our brains gets shut down, while emergency crews are working overtime. The good news is that knowing your own internal triggers and recognizing, acknowledging and soothing your emotions, will keep them from controlling you. If you control them and keep them calmly settled inside you, rather than having these negative emotions spilling outward, you will be able to parent more effectively. The best part is, you can learn how to do this with practice.

How to Stop Yelling at Kids? Use carefully designed, thoughtful Mindpower Sessions that combine hypnotherapy and meditation to help change your perspective about different aspects of motherhood.


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About Mama Zen Freshman   Mamazen

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Joined APSense since, August 4th, 2020, From ., United States.

Created on Oct 8th 2020 12:50. Viewed 263 times.

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