How To Rid Yourself Of The Shame And Guilt Of Divorce

by chrisbanks divorcewithkids chrisbanksdivorcewithkids

The truth is, well the truth is sad actually; we tend to feel sorry for "Those people," especially sorry for the women.

According to the National Survey of Family Growth, the lifelong probability of a marriage ending in divorce is 40% to 50%. In a survey of over 2,000 heterosexual couples, it was discovered that women initiate nearly 70% of all divorces.

With divorce rates increasing, and the majority of divorces initiated by women, why aren't we celebrating our newfound freedom and feeling proud, instead of feeling judged by others and most likely ourselves.

Why, instead of pride, do many of us tend to feel shame as if we're broken beyond repair, and how do we change that narrative? In order to change anything, it's important to recognize, talk about, and explore why it's there in the first place.

Society doesn't like divorce, it represents being broken, and it's hard to not take that personally.

Divorce is perceived as a failed marriage, when in truth, at least according to comedian Lewis Black, "No good marriage ends in divorce." And who says every relationship is meant to last forever? Well, apparently those vows do, and when they're broken, we can feel like we failed, didn't try enough, weren't good enough, and those feelings, thoughts, beliefs, can be devastating.

So how can we rid ourselves of the shame and guilt of divorce, and not allow those damaging feelings to take up more space than they deserve? How to Get Rid of The Shame and Guilt of Divorce As women, we often take on much more responsibility than we should, in everything.

It's important to remember that if you take the blame, then you should also take the credit.

Take care of yourself and treat yourself like you have value because you do.

Talk about your feelings with someone safe who won't judge you and someone who will listen.

Healing takes time and patience, and feelings are just that, feelings.

Just because you "Feel" something doesn't mean it's reality, and it also means that it will pass.

Even the good feelings go away eventually, unfortunately.