Financial issues that can be detrimental to marriage
Many couples argue about money and, much of the time, these arguments over finances are a major cause of divorce. So, to protect your marriage from falling apart, listed below are some of the important money issues in marriage which you should recognize and on which you should be willing to compromise.
• What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours- When both parties in a marriage work and cannot compromise on certain money issues, they usually resort to quick fixes such as splitting the bills and expenses in a fair manner. Once they have their necessities and bills covered, they can then spend on their own, regardless what the other spouse thinks. While this may sound to be a good plan to avoid money conflicts, sometimes, having no power over your spouse’s financial decisions can build resentment.
• Debt- Many people rack up debt way before they get married. One might have school loans, car loans, credit card balances, or other loans he or she needs to repay while the other may have none. While there are couples who are able to successfully sort through financial issues with each other, there are some who get into confrontations regarding debt, income, and spending habits.
• Financial personality- Your financial personality refers to your spending habits and financial responsibility. If your spouse is a big saver while you are a big spender, this might create conflicts between the two of you. So it is important that you acknowledge yours as well as your spouse’s financial personalities and be willing to compromise.
• Power-tripping- Power-tripping often occurs when one works and the other doesn’t, when one becomes unemployed, when one earns more than the other, or when one comes from a privileged background while the other does not. When any of these situations is present, there are instances when the one who has money or more money dictates the spending priorities. While it is somehow the money-earner’s right to budget the finances on his or her terms, it is still important to take into account the other spouse’s decisions.
• Having children- Having children is expensive. Of course, when you have a child, you have to make sure that you are able to provide everything for them. You need to provide for their food, home, clothing, education, vacations, college and the list goes on and on. To avoid fighting over money when you do have children, find some time to talk about it before the child arrives. Together, create a plan that will assure both of you that you can afford to raise a child.
• Extended family- There may be times when your spouse’s extended family might need help from him or her. They could ask for help in taking out a loan, ask for money to pay for an extravagant vacation, or request help in paying their rent. When your spouse responds to his or her extended family’s request, you may be questioning why he or she prioritized their needs ahead of yours, which can cause arguments. Instead of arguing, have a plan for what you are willing to do to help members of your extended family.
Like other marital problems, arguing often points to lack of communication. In every marriage, the most important thing is to communicate. Dealing with debt can indeed be difficult, but addressing it is the first step to resolving any marital financial issues. Make sure to be open with your spouse so you both can come up with an effective plan. Do a credit score check regularly and discuss with each other debts, loans, or other issues that you may have.
If, for whatever reason, you just can’t seem to agree and come to a compromise on finances, but you refuse to separate, one solution is to create a post-nuptial agreement. However, entering into such an agreement may necessitate that you accept you do not have the right to interfere with your spouse’s finances or their decisions regarding those finances.
Once you have your money issues sorted through, you can focus on the financial advantages your marriage brings. Being married is one great way to increase your income while not doubling-up on your expenses. To keep your finances aligned, talk openly about money and your financial goals so you can help each other to reach them faster.
Joy Mali is an active finance blogger who is fond of sharing interesting finance management tips to encourage people to manage their personal finances. More specifically, she advocates that people should check credit reports and scores regularly. Follow Joy and discover how married couples can manage money.
• What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is yours- When both parties in a marriage work and cannot compromise on certain money issues, they usually resort to quick fixes such as splitting the bills and expenses in a fair manner. Once they have their necessities and bills covered, they can then spend on their own, regardless what the other spouse thinks. While this may sound to be a good plan to avoid money conflicts, sometimes, having no power over your spouse’s financial decisions can build resentment.
• Debt- Many people rack up debt way before they get married. One might have school loans, car loans, credit card balances, or other loans he or she needs to repay while the other may have none. While there are couples who are able to successfully sort through financial issues with each other, there are some who get into confrontations regarding debt, income, and spending habits.
• Financial personality- Your financial personality refers to your spending habits and financial responsibility. If your spouse is a big saver while you are a big spender, this might create conflicts between the two of you. So it is important that you acknowledge yours as well as your spouse’s financial personalities and be willing to compromise.
• Power-tripping- Power-tripping often occurs when one works and the other doesn’t, when one becomes unemployed, when one earns more than the other, or when one comes from a privileged background while the other does not. When any of these situations is present, there are instances when the one who has money or more money dictates the spending priorities. While it is somehow the money-earner’s right to budget the finances on his or her terms, it is still important to take into account the other spouse’s decisions.
• Having children- Having children is expensive. Of course, when you have a child, you have to make sure that you are able to provide everything for them. You need to provide for their food, home, clothing, education, vacations, college and the list goes on and on. To avoid fighting over money when you do have children, find some time to talk about it before the child arrives. Together, create a plan that will assure both of you that you can afford to raise a child.
• Extended family- There may be times when your spouse’s extended family might need help from him or her. They could ask for help in taking out a loan, ask for money to pay for an extravagant vacation, or request help in paying their rent. When your spouse responds to his or her extended family’s request, you may be questioning why he or she prioritized their needs ahead of yours, which can cause arguments. Instead of arguing, have a plan for what you are willing to do to help members of your extended family.
Like other marital problems, arguing often points to lack of communication. In every marriage, the most important thing is to communicate. Dealing with debt can indeed be difficult, but addressing it is the first step to resolving any marital financial issues. Make sure to be open with your spouse so you both can come up with an effective plan. Do a credit score check regularly and discuss with each other debts, loans, or other issues that you may have.
If, for whatever reason, you just can’t seem to agree and come to a compromise on finances, but you refuse to separate, one solution is to create a post-nuptial agreement. However, entering into such an agreement may necessitate that you accept you do not have the right to interfere with your spouse’s finances or their decisions regarding those finances.
Once you have your money issues sorted through, you can focus on the financial advantages your marriage brings. Being married is one great way to increase your income while not doubling-up on your expenses. To keep your finances aligned, talk openly about money and your financial goals so you can help each other to reach them faster.
Joy Mali is an active finance blogger who is fond of sharing interesting finance management tips to encourage people to manage their personal finances. More specifically, she advocates that people should check credit reports and scores regularly. Follow Joy and discover how married couples can manage money.
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