Dysfunctional marriage as the reason of depression

About that not wanting to get up and then that not being able to fall asleep at night ... it's depression of the worst kind. The frustrating thing is that you know it and there is nothing to do about it except to stay aware of the fact that it is happening to you and seek professional care for yourself if you feel that it's taking over your entire life. In my case it comes and goes. It's been like this for years.

And honestly, the depression does not scare me like it did in the beginning! I know that I am on this STUPID roller coaster ride. I know that I made the decision to keep riding all these years (right or wrong). I know that I have periods where I am just plain emotionally frail. I try to make sure that I stay on top of just how awful I feel. If you make the decision to stay in a dysfunctional marriage, this is what your life will be like.

It seems to me that some women have been able to reach the stage where they no longer care if the marriage is dysfunctional; they probably are the one's who have boyfriends, lovers, etc. They can keep whatever circumstances keep them in the marriage in focus and move on; they don't deny themselves the joy and happiness of having a good relationship and do the best they can to nurture this need outside of the marriage. I can't be angry with them even when they spend their time reading levitra reviews on internet.

Geez .... sounds so good to me and yet I have never been able to do this. I know that I am denying myself the opportunity to have a good relationship and I know this is one issue I find really depressing. I know I ENVY those women having the affairs, the boyfriends, etc. I mean, what IS wrong with ME?

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