Donot Shoot the Messenger – How Biases Distort Communication
by Manish J. top MBA colleges in BangaluruWhat is effective communication? It is a good composition of
the message and its flawless transmission? Is it reception of the message
without distortion?
Distortion of the message happens at two points
- during
transmission – physical distortion
- due to
the belief of the receiver
The same message, to two different persons will have
different reactions. There are three types of beliefs that a receiver has that
can impact distortion:
- the
beliefs that a receiver has and therefore how he interprets the message
itself – this is impacted by the language, the tone and the structure of
the message. Sometime the size of the message makes a difference: big
emails, short sms, terse verbal responses, long and winded verbal
responses (lectures)
- the
receiver’s belief about the sender and the intent of the sender (even an
innocuous birthday wishes will have sinister overtones if sent by someone
who I think is my enemy; if you do not like a lecturer or his intent, then
even his sincere messages will have different overtones)
- the
communication medium : in today’s discussion, the messenger. I am ignoring
physical media like telephone cables, Internet etc.
Traditionally, we are advised to differentiate the message
from the messenger. We are supposed to be messenger agnostic. “Don’t shoot the
messenger,” we are entreated.
But the messenger will determine how we receive the message.
If we do not like the messenger or the way he delivers the message, we will not
care about the content or the sender. If a book is good, but it is presented by
a lecturer or a student we do not like, then we do not care about the contents
of the book, or its writer. If a person gives you feedback, we will care about
the feedback based on who is giving us the feedback.
Does it mean that I have to be liked before I can send a
message?
Does it mean that I have to be liked before I can deliver a
message?
Does it mean that my messenger has to be liked?
Does it mean the message loses its significance?
Look at the response of the receiver. If he does not like
the message, he has choices:
- attack
the message,
- attack
the sender and also
- attack
the messenger
If he does not like the sender or the messenger, he has same
choices.
So when people do not do what I want them to do, I need to
look at my message, the receiver’s perception about me and the receiver’s
perception about the messenger.
I also run the risk that if people do not like my message,
they will attack the messenger – the poor guy
So when I ask my students at a top business school to study,
and if they do not want to, they will attack the message (the course is
useless) or the sender (the writer is not qualified) or the messenger i.e. me(the
professor is useless and does not know how to teach)
If a group member does not like what another group member is
suggesting, he will attack his suggestion or he will attack the person.
If a group member does not like the person delivering the
suggestion, even if the suggestion is good, he will attack the person and the
suggestion.
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Summary
Traditionally, we are advised to differentiate the message
from the messenger. But the messenger will determine how we receive the
message. This article explains how and why the messenger gets attacked for the
message.
About The Author
Prof. Chandra Kant, is an alumnus of IIM Calcutta and
currently, a senior professor at Indus Business Academy, a leading business school in India. He teaches,
change management, business leadership and Self Management.
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Created on Jul 16th 2018 07:17. Viewed 236 times.