Article for Dating site "Teenage Dating Problems"

Q 1.

I know my boyfriend loves me a lot. But he has a habit of flirting around with other girls. I don't like that habit of his. He keeps telling me to trust him and I try but it gets beyond limits sometimes and I can't take it. I'm slightly possessive. Please tell me what to do.

  Ans :- I feel that your boyfriend is just over-friendly with girls. He probably feels more comfortable while interacting with girls. You should take an advantage of this nature of his. If he was always to stick around you only then there was a chance that he could get bored of you but if he interacts with a lot of girls while being with you then it is more likely that he'll stick with you for a long time. Guys never like to be tied down, so I think you should give him some freedom. Don't put pressure on him. He is the way he is and you should not try to change him because he has always been this way so you should give him his e. Trust is very important in any relationship. It is the foundation of a strong relationship. If he is giving you a reassurance that he doesn't have any intentions of cheating on you then you should trust him.

   

 

Q 2.

My boyfriend started gaining a lot of weight after we started dating. Before we had started going out, he used to go the gym regularly and maintain a healthy diet and all and keep fit. Now he completely neglects his health. He eats like a glutton and has too much beer as a result of which he has acquired a beer belly. He has become lazy and he hardly goes to the gym also these days unless on days when I force him. What should I do about this? I'm getting worried. I don't understand why he has become so lazy. 

  Ans :- You have to start being firm with him and show him how this habit of his really disgusts you. Don't be easy on him. Explain to him how important it is for him to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Encourage him to go to the gym regularly. If possible go with him. That might serve as an incentive for him also to go willingly. Also try to monitor his diet yourself whenever you can. Ask him to include more fruits in his diet. It might be that he is suffering from some depression or stress. Sometimes these factors also cause eating disorders and laziness and disinterest in most activities, even activities that one was enthusiastic about earlier. Keep a close watch on his symptoms and then consult a psychiatrist and discuss what it might be and if he needs help then talk him into seeing a therapist. Probably that is what he needs.

   

 

Q 3.

My girlfriend and I started going out a couple of months back. We really like each other. However now she has really started encroaching upon my e and time too much. She doesn't let me study or do anything else. What should I do about this? She just wants to spend maximum time with me. 

  Ans :- Encourage her to take part in activities of her interest. Tell her to cultivate some good hobbies or teach her how important it is to also maintain a decent academic record. Tell her how much it will boost her confidence if she develops more exciting activities to keep herself occupied. She is probably a little insecure because of which she tries to spend maximum time with you so that she can keep a track on you. I think you need to help her shed this insecurity and make her more aware about how much you love her and care for her. Explain to her how important it is to give e in a relationship in order to keep it going strong and keep the fire alive. She needs to understand the value of e. However do it in a very polite manner without making her feel as though you are just trying to avoid her or that there is something fishy going on. You will have to be very tactful while doing this. 

   

 

Q 4.

I am a 19 year old girl. I am pretty good-looking. But there is a problem every time I like a guy I get scared of facing it. I hate to believe that I like someone. Hence I try to avoid the guy after a while and he starts wondering what happened. Even though I know he likes me but I can't confront the situation. I'm scared of getting too close. I think I'm losing out on a lot of nice guys because of this deep fear of intimacy that I suffer from. Most of my friends feel I'm just very stuck up and I should be open and if I like a guy I should even go ahead and tell him or ask him out myself but somehow I just don't see myself doing it. I'm very traditional in my outlook. I always expect it to come from the guy.

  Ans :- Well, take one day at a time, one step at a time, enjoy one thing at one time, if you like someone go ahead, if he is making the moves, it makes it simpler for you, just play along, enjoy the first date, the first outing, the long calls, the first kiss, think about only one thing at one time and you'll do just fine. .... after all its better to have loved and lost then to not loved at all. Of course you don't need to get too attached because if u give all of yourself to one person and it doesn't work out then you are emotionally destroyed. So just learn where to draw the line.

   

 

Q 5.

My boyfriend of 6 months ditched me. I'm unable to forget him as I really loved him. Now he is dating another girl. I don't know how to get over him and I can't bear to see him with the other girl. How do I get over him? I really loved him a lot. He hurt me.

  Ans :- Well thank god that he didn't ditch you after 6 years. If he didn't realize your worth then he doesn't deserve you anyway. And if soon after ditching you he is dating another girl, then he really wasn't worth it. You need to know who you are. Your identity does not depend on whether he is there in your life or not. Agreed that it must hurt to have been ditched by someone you probably loved and whom you might have been very close to and shared numerous special moments with but now that he is not there, you will have to close him like another chapter of your life that just got over. It is not easy but imagine how easy it was for him to dump you and start dating another girl when you still can't get over him. Why would you allow him to have the upper hand? Show him that if he didn't realize your value then even he doesn't mean anything to you. You will find numerous other nice guys who will want to be with you and love you. You have no reason to worry or cry. It was only 6 months of your entire life which includes so many years which are yet to come. So many more exciting years with someone who will be more special than he was. Wait for him. Wait for the right person. Don't worry he'll show up when it's time. These words may not mean anything to you at this point but later you will realize how true they were. Meanwhile, till you still have time, evolve yourself. Make your self superior. Indulge in activities of your interests. Develop new skills. Make yourself so desirable that nobody can ever hurt you the way this loser did. There is a lot that you are capable of achieving. Identify you assets and use them for your benefit. You will soon be able to love yourself much more and that will boost your confidence. Remember it is more important to love yourself first before anyone else. If in this relationship you only ended up loving the other person and gave him all and your loving yourself depended purely on his feelings for you then it wasn't worth it anyway.

   

 

Q 6.

My boyfriend is forcing me to indulge in smoking, drugs, and drinks. I don't mind him doing it but I don't approve of it and can't do it myself.

 

  Ans :-

If you don't approve of it then don't do it. Is he threatening to leave you if you don't? If he is then he is a loser. Move on. Just tell him firmly that you will not do it because you do not consider it a great habit and wouldn't like to get involved. Then if he still persists then you don't have to be with him as he does respect your choices the right partner

   

 

Q 7.

I am a superstar. I want a genuine lover, a simple person who will love me regardless of my celebrity status and will not try to take advantage of it.

  Ans :- Go out and meet normal people. Make more friends among simple people. Get to know them. You might find someone who will be interesting and nice enough. Someone who might love you the way you'd want him her to. However do not push yourself too far. It is possible that since you have been so accustomed to the kind of life you lead that to deal with the simple life again might be difficult. Nevertheless nothing is impossible. You might find someone really wonderful who might be able to make it easier for you.

   

 

Q 8.

I found out that my guy cheated on me. The girl is my good friend. What do I do?

  Ans :- Dump him. If you were going out with him for a long time, still dump him. If he did that once, chances are he will do it again. And I don't think the girl is really your friend. There is a difference between an acquaintance and friend. The girl probably was getting friendly to you only to get to your guy. Move on with your life.

   

 

Q 9.

Q 9. My boyfriend is all very nice, loving and caring but once he is drunk, he is a totally different person. He starts caring less, and starts hitting on other girls. So if he goes out with his other friends, or I am not there, I get very scared and don't know what to trust will happen. How can I overcome this fear? Talking might not work because he won’t give up alcohol and then he blames everything on it.

  Ans :- Never assume. You should try talking to him and tell him that his excess drinking is causing you pain and you worry about it all the time. If he really is that caring, then he will listen. If not, then you need to stop torturing yourself. Trust is the biggest factor of any relationship, if it doesn't exist, then its time to move on.

   

 

10.

I like a friend in class but he likes this other girl. The other girl has too much attitude and doesn't like him, I know that. How do I make the guy fall for me? 

  Ans :- If you like some guy, you haven't mentioned, how friendly you are with him. Play it right. First get friendly to him, and then suddenly get hardball. What are the things that he likes in the other girl? Think if those things can be adopted be you while still being yourself. And when he gets close to you, make him start liking you for whom you are. Everything has to be played right, that is if of course, you think he is worth all the effort. If one door closes, better kick it open. When things don't happen, make them happen.

   

 

11.

Is physical attraction so important. I mean, I am a great looking guy. I am in love with this, what my friends say, an ordinary looking girl. They think I can easily "do better". Do I really need to get someone who is as good looking as I am even if I like this girl?

  Ans :- Love is Blind. It makes you do crazy things. It doesn't look at caste, color or height and weight. You like someone, you like someone. Your friends will understand. If you are so good a personality and she is with you, your friends will also start appreciating the qualities you like about her sooner or later. It’s your life, live it the way you want.

   

 

12.

I'm not such a great looking guy. I have a really hot girlfriend. We're still in college. I have a car. I don't know if she is after me for the money or because she really likes me. Is there any way to find out?

  Ans :- Try this strategy. Stop getting your car and tell her that it has been confiscated by your parents and they cut down on your pocket money. See if she still sticks around and is prepared to travel with you by public transport i.e. stoop to the level of bus and train, don't even think of cabs or autos. See how much she can endure for you. How much does she complain? You'll find out if she is really into you or your car. When you go out, ask her to pay at times, and see how she takes all of it. You wail be the best judge.

   

 

13.

What should be the ideal gift to give a girlfriend on Valentine's day?

  Ans :- The best gift is a gift which has an element of surprise in it. Give her something that she'd have never expected. However make sure it's a pleasant surprise and doesn't leave her scandalized and offended. See what are the things she likes. If you know her tastes well then there is no problem but if you are not sure then don't take that risk. Give her something that will be approved of regardless of her tastes.

   

 

14.

Why is my boyfriend so narrow-minded? I am very fond of dressing up and I am a fun-loving kind of girl. However he always spoils my fun by telling me what to do and what not to do. If I'm jumping around in the water on the beach, he'll come and give me his shirt and get paranoid because other men are watching. What do I do with him? He just doesn't let me enjoy fully.

  Ans :- He is probably just concerned about you and doesn't want you to get into trouble. He might have also been brought up in a different way because of which he is not open to impulse. You can start by appeasing him by asking for his approval before wearing a bikini when going to the beach etc so that he feels assured. You might be straying away while having fun. However try to stay around him when you are doing so. Stay in front of his eyes so that he doesn't have to keep running around to check on you. Gradually he will get used to it and start understanding your need for e and give it to you once he feels assured.

   

 

15.

I went on a first date with this guy who was really sweet. He is a nice person and all and it was nice talking to him but when we began to eat I noticed that he had pathetic table manners. Should I still go ahead with him since he is a nice person?

  Ans :- If his table manners really annoy you and you can't stand him because of that then it's pointless to go ahead with this coz you will not be able to get used to it anyway. You might like him because he is sweet but there are many other sweet guys in this world who also have good table manners. However if you still thinks that you like him enough to date him inspite of his disgusting table manners then go ahead. You could always train him gradually. 

   

 

16.

I had seen this girl in a shopping mall near my house and I was enchanted by her. When I tried to find out about her I figured that she stays in the same area. I'm obsessed with her. I follow her everyday and I know what time she goes out of her house and where she goes and how she spent her day. I follow her every move though she's not aware of my existence. I want to talk to her and get to know her. She's become like an obsession for me. I can't stop thinking of her. Please tell me how do I talk to her? 

  Ans :- Since you all stay in the same area try to find a common friend and get to know her through him or her. Start talking to her and make friends with her. Then once you have found out what kind of person she is and what her likes and dislikes are. Then do things for her that she likes and take her to places where she is likely to enjoy herself. Once you have started sensing that it is going somewhere, make the final move and tell her how you feel about her. Be prepared for rejection. Don't take it as the end of the world. There is a possibility that she might not be that into you as you are. The loss will be bigger of hers than of yours. So take it in a lighter vein. 

   

 

17.

My boyfriend keeps taking me out on dates frequently and makes me eat a lot. He thinks I don't eat enough and forces me to eat more. I have started putting on weight because of this. I tried to tell him that but he won't listen. I don't like to be fat. What should I do with him? 

  Ans :- If he eats a lot and is healthy then start telling him that he needs to lose weight. Keep nagging him. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Soon he'll realize his fault and stop forcing you. Next time he forces you to eat and you don't want to, then just put your foot down and tell him you feel sick. Tell him it's not fair on his part. Make him feel guilty. Soon he'll start understanding. 

   

 

18.

I am 22 years old boy. I am love one of my classmates. But she does not give me any response. She is already engaged. I'm scared of proposing to her because I don't want her to get the wrong impression about me. Sometimes she happens to talk to me.

  Ans :- f she is engaged then find out the reason why she is engaged. Is it someone whom she loves or is it an arranged thing where she didn't even know the guy. However it doesn't seem sensible to propose to a girl who is already engaged. It's not going to work out. She might be already preparing herself for this marriage. If you come into her life now all of a sudden you will be causing a lot of confusion and trauma. I'd suggest you back out. You will find a lot of other girls whom you will like and who will also be single.

   

 

19.

I have no idea how to propose a girl. I have proposed two times but she refused and did not take me seriously. She thought I was just kidding. If you are a girl please suggest how a girl expects a boy to propose to her. 

  Ans :- If she hasn't taken you seriously the first two times then it's unlikely that she is going to take you seriously the third time. Probably you are doing funny things because of which she doesn't take you seriously. You have probably given her the impression that you are not serious in life. Show her that you are focused and know your priorities. Then ask her out and keep it real. Tell her that you are genuinely interested and would like to date her. Tell her the things that you like about her. Don't push her too much. Give her time if she needs it. Then if she still says no then, she probably isn't interested.

   

 

20.

I had a relationship with my best friend but she broke up as she found another love but I kept friendship with her as I loved her very much but now she wants to be back in my life. What should I do? I don't want to be hurt again and meanwhile another girl proposed to me.

  Ans :- She seems to have double standards. She can't just walk off and come back as and when she likes. She is taking your love for granted. If she has hurt you before, she can do it again. You have been her best friend, you know her best. She might just be coming back to you because it seems convenient to her. Observe how she is towards you. Does her behavior seem fake, like she is trying hard to get you back or does it look like genuine love and concern for you. Does she really care about you? If she did care about your feelings she wouldn't have dumped you for another guy in the first place. Just because this other girl has proposed to you doesn't compel you to go out with her. Wait and think. Do you also really like this girl? If you think it has any chances of working out, then only go ahead with it, otherwise you will not only hurt yourself but leave that girl also hurt. It is possible that you are on a rebound because of which you might think that you are developing feelings for her.

   

 

21.

I made out with my boyfriend 8 months after we had broken up, when we were on a college trip. Now I've started feeling that he uses me. He is not ready to get back or offer any commitment but is sweet and mushy all the time. Keeps hitting on me. I don't know what to do. 

  Ans :- If you know that he is using you and isn't ready to give any commitment, then it's pointless to go on like this unless you too are enjoying it for the fun of it. However if you don't think it is serious and going to get anywhere, then just cut it out. It's not good to let yourself stoop down so low for someone who doesn't care. What happened at your college trip must have just been because of the past but it doesn't mean it has any future.

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