Many years ago, I used to work in a department store (Remember those?) as a Store Detective...

 The Holiday Shopping Season was "Hell Month" and every "Loony" in town seemed to be drawn to the store that I was working in, and nobody seemed to have any money so they would all try to steal stuff... It was my job to catch them, if I could.

 Some of the the most colorful characters were named by me and later used in some of my stories as inspiration...

 There was "Bruce Lee Dude", this guy would roar and growl and go throught a series of comical martial arts moves when he knew he was going to get busted, and he seemed impervious to Mace (Tear Gas)... Once, he even jumped over a balcony while trying to run away, and landed on the "Ladies Undergarments On Sale" table. Bad move, Those women jumped on him like a pack of rabid wolves! LOL!

 Then there was "Muhammad Ali" who would do the "Shuffle" and flash his fists, but it was all in jest-- He would laugh and talk throughout the whole routine, before allowing himself to be arrested...

 There was also 'Gypsy Rose Lee" who was certain to strip off all of her clothes in seconds, and get nekkid on the spot, no matter what the weather was... She had a thing for the female officers, and she would try to kiss them with her 100 proof lips... The officers were not amused...

 "Tampon Nunchaku Woman" had this incredible way of defending herself, Her "name" saying it so clearly that it should require no further explanation-- If you don't know what Nunchakus are, go ask any kid...

 I have more fun for you and this blog will be updated as the characters come to mind, I hope that you will enjoy your holidays and have BIG FUN, too! Yes, it is possible to "Party" whilst wearing a straightjacket... I know first hand, so don't worry if you should get a little "Crazy" around now! :)

 And  please don't even give one second's thought as to how I survived all that, because I don't know either! LOL! :)

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Carols For The "Mentally Challenged" -All In Fun- So Don't Lose Your LAFF Muscles! :)

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . .

PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, ........ (better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

 "Twas The Night Before Xmas" Parodies From ABOUT.COM (Some of you folks write so well that you should consider becoming an ABOUT GUIDE....They pay really well-- Just a suggestion now go and have fun!)

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/historical/a/twas_the_night.htm

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