'When Buzz-Words Attack! Are Cliches Infesting Your Marketing? LOL! :)

 I attend a lot of business meetings, and some of them can be unbelievably boring. You would think that Advertising and Marketing pros would know how to "Joltify" (That's mine! All mine!!!) a meeting without using all the same boring cliches,wouldn't you?  So in my head, I'll start writing up some stories about these "blab-bore mouths"( Again, Mine!, All Mine!), and they pay dearly... 

 Presenting some of the corporate-speak that makes me slightly less than, well... Peaceful:

"Moving foward...blah, blah, blah..." Yeah right, Like anybody was even going to think of "Moving Backwards" to listen to some boring old fart spout more platitudes?

"Not in my book!...." This one dates back to the era when people actually read books and was meant to be a dismissive phase- please don't use it, because it dates you faster and more accurately than any radio-isotope ever could!

"A New Paradigm!..." actually means the same old thing with a shiny new coat of BS!

"Between You, Me and the wall..." if someone comes near you and uses that phrase, run away immediately!:)

I have attended several expensive marketing and advertising seminars wherein we were consistantly told to "move beyond" (irritating) using buzz-words, hype and platitudes and simply "cut to the chase" (grrrr!) and tell people exactly what you are presenting, what it does and what you want them to pay for it...

As you can see, most of these points never had enough "legs" (ouch!) to get anywhere with most of us...

So even after consuming hours and hours of mitigating instructions, "I'm sorry to say" (The pain, oh the pain!) that most marketing and advertising pros never quite "got it" (catch phrase hell!) and continue to print, project and conjure up the most grating sales campaigns to ever be hurled at the public...

To "The People Of The World" (Arrgh!), on behalf of my colleagues, my sincerest apologies!:)

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The most irritating thing about advertising isn't only the incessant and excessive use of existing buzzwords and phrases, but the fact that more and more people who come to work in the biz are expected and encouraged to create more of them, with astoundingly horrific results:

"It's Crunchewy!" - Drawing and Quartering offense, I say!

"Scrumptidilyumtious!"- They just oughta stop smoking that stuff, it's messing with their heads!

"It's Naturific!" -Please, Oh, Please! I hope something directly from Nature bit these guys in the lower regions!

These and other sonic, textual and visual assaults, have caused me to give my collection of rocks and crystals to a friend for safekeeping...

I have chosen this action, because of my urgent propensity to toss same, with violent force-- at any object, electronic or organic, that dares to emote such garbarge whilst I'm in the same room...

It's safer for everybody! LOL!
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And so, for the sake of my readers, I can assure you all I'm well aware that "brevity is golden", and by applying my learned technique of "keeping it short and sweet", that this presentation is truly informative and"right on the money"!

Oh, No! Did I just say that?

OMG&G, I'm infected! LOL!:)