Life Story Laffs
Compare My Joke To The World Funniest Joke! :)
by Jeff Greene Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Jeff Greene 
Online Marketing...
This joke is supposed to be the World's funniest according to a poll pf 100,000 people:
Here is the joke: It's from a study that came out a couple years ago where they determined what different countries found to be the best type of humor. This was nearly universal:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
Now here is my own re- write of an ancient old joke from the 50's or 60's:
Tramping through the rain forest one day, Hannigan and Flannigan, two intrepid (and not too bright!), entrepreneurs came out of the thick brush into a marvelously open and breezy clearing...
Hannigan suddenly gasped and grabbed Flanningan by the collar and pointed at the ground- which was literally covered with all kinds of jewels and gold bracelet and the like!
The two shocked explorers started shouting and laughing and screaming " Oh me bloody Gawd, we're RICH!" over and over again and bent down and started grabbing handfuls of the treasures and stuffing their pockets, knapsacks and anything else they could get a fistful of jewels into...
Suddenly, Flannigan stopped and looked up to see a band some of the angriest, fierce-looking Natives he's ever seen staring at him and his partner with disgust (and murder!) in their eyes...
"Holy Mudder of Gawd!", exclaimed Hannigan, "We're bloody done for, now!" as the the group of warriors seized them and started dragging the pair back though the jungle!
Eventually, the party arrived at the main village where the two prisoners were thrown to the ground before the Chief of the tribe, who snarled at them and raised his hand, which held a huge (really huge!) blade in it!
Hannigan and Flannigan immediately started to whimper and beg for their lives in earnest, promising that they would do anything, ANYTHING, if the Chief would spare them!
Miraculously, the Chief lowered the blade, and spoke to them in booming, broken english...
"You have desecrated Sacred Burial Ground!", The Chief shouted and the crowd roared! The Chief continued..."That mean DEATH!", he screamed and the crowd roared!
"But you are IDIOT!", The Chief yelled and the crowd roared!
"You each will go into Forest 100 paces and gather 100 nuts and return here or Warriors will find you and KILL!"
Motioning Flannigan to go west and Hannigan to go east, The Chief screamed, "GO!" and the crowd roared...
Flannigan was the first to return to the village with a sackful of nuts that looked sort of like acorns...
"Lose trouser and BEND OVER!" the Chief ordered and started stuffing the nuts up Flanningan's arse!
"Ouch!", "Ouch!", "Ouch!" said Flannigan as the Chief dished out his punishment, but suddenly, Flannigan started to laugh uncontrollably!!!
Puzzled, the Chief asked, "This hurt, why you laugh?"
Sobbing with laughter, Flannigan pointed and said breathlessly, "Here comes Hannigan, with a hundred COCONUTS!":)
-----
Please feel free to tell me what you think! :) I like to re-write good stuff and as part of Life Story Laffs-- Re- Telling your own stories should be MUCHO FUN!
Although that Hannigan and Flannigan story isn't about me exactly, how many times in Life have I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time with HUMOUROUS Results?
About a Billion, I'm sure... "Here Comes Da Broad" will be one that features" Wedding Photographer Me" getting getting trapped in a room with six half nekkid, drunken bridemaids and the Bride while they sort out their mis-labled gowns... and the Bride ordered me to sit down and have a drink...
Let Go, Loosen Up-- Make me and your Brothers and Sisters LAFF... we're all family here! :)
Dec 21st 2007 12:31
Online Marketing...This joke is supposed to be the World's funniest according to a poll pf 100,000 people:
Here is the joke: It's from a study that came out a couple years ago where they determined what different countries found to be the best type of humor. This was nearly universal:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
Now here is my own re- write of an ancient old joke from the 50's or 60's:
Tramping through the rain forest one day, Hannigan and Flannigan, two intrepid (and not too bright!), entrepreneurs came out of the thick brush into a marvelously open and breezy clearing...
Hannigan suddenly gasped and grabbed Flanningan by the collar and pointed at the ground- which was literally covered with all kinds of jewels and gold bracelet and the like!
The two shocked explorers started shouting and laughing and screaming " Oh me bloody Gawd, we're RICH!" over and over again and bent down and started grabbing handfuls of the treasures and stuffing their pockets, knapsacks and anything else they could get a fistful of jewels into...
Suddenly, Flannigan stopped and looked up to see a band some of the angriest, fierce-looking Natives he's ever seen staring at him and his partner with disgust (and murder!) in their eyes...
"Holy Mudder of Gawd!", exclaimed Hannigan, "We're bloody done for, now!" as the the group of warriors seized them and started dragging the pair back though the jungle!
Eventually, the party arrived at the main village where the two prisoners were thrown to the ground before the Chief of the tribe, who snarled at them and raised his hand, which held a huge (really huge!) blade in it!
Hannigan and Flannigan immediately started to whimper and beg for their lives in earnest, promising that they would do anything, ANYTHING, if the Chief would spare them!
Miraculously, the Chief lowered the blade, and spoke to them in booming, broken english...
"You have desecrated Sacred Burial Ground!", The Chief shouted and the crowd roared! The Chief continued..."That mean DEATH!", he screamed and the crowd roared!
"But you are IDIOT!", The Chief yelled and the crowd roared!
"You each will go into Forest 100 paces and gather 100 nuts and return here or Warriors will find you and KILL!"
Motioning Flannigan to go west and Hannigan to go east, The Chief screamed, "GO!" and the crowd roared...
Flannigan was the first to return to the village with a sackful of nuts that looked sort of like acorns...
"Lose trouser and BEND OVER!" the Chief ordered and started stuffing the nuts up Flanningan's arse!
"Ouch!", "Ouch!", "Ouch!" said Flannigan as the Chief dished out his punishment, but suddenly, Flannigan started to laugh uncontrollably!!!
Puzzled, the Chief asked, "This hurt, why you laugh?"
Sobbing with laughter, Flannigan pointed and said breathlessly, "Here comes Hannigan, with a hundred COCONUTS!":)
-----
Please feel free to tell me what you think! :) I like to re-write good stuff and as part of Life Story Laffs-- Re- Telling your own stories should be MUCHO FUN!
Although that Hannigan and Flannigan story isn't about me exactly, how many times in Life have I found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time with HUMOUROUS Results?
About a Billion, I'm sure... "Here Comes Da Broad" will be one that features" Wedding Photographer Me" getting getting trapped in a room with six half nekkid, drunken bridemaids and the Bride while they sort out their mis-labled gowns... and the Bride ordered me to sit down and have a drink...
Let Go, Loosen Up-- Make me and your Brothers and Sisters LAFF... we're all family here! :)
Dec 21st 2007 12:31
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Comments
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantI now know that my joke is very funny, but it wasn't submitted to the judging... that oversight will never happen again, thanks Cheryl! :) Dec 21st 2007 13:04 |
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Jeff Greene
Online Marketing Specialist/ConsultantThanks, Fishie! It didn't come up "Crushed" at all, did it? :) Dec 21st 2007 13:24 |
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Now I know why God saw fit to make me allergic to coconuts! ROFLMAO!
Dec 21st 2007 13:00