Jeff Greene   Online Marketing...
Ya know, I wouldn't say that my fishin' buddy is fat...

I mean, he's got a little extra middle-age poundage, that's all-

Ok, Ok - he's fat!!! That dude can really put away the pasta, ya know what I mean? Him and his nagging wife have doused the "flames of love" after their daughter was born and substituted them with the "festival of food"!

When his wife packs his lunch for our fishing trips, the package resembles a smallish steamer trunk with wheels!

What's even more amazing is that my buddy was once a high school track and baseball star!

I'm not sure if marriage did this to him or not but I'm holding out until someone proves that that marriage is safe enough for me to try.

What I really like about my buddy is that he is a fishing fool!
This guy has an uncanny fishing skill that puts fish in the cooler almost every time we go out!

It doesn't seem to matter whether it's salt water fishing, fresh water fishing, pond or lake fishing- no matter what the species, he's gonna catch it!

Even if other fishermen are being "skunked" in the same area!

What I don't like about him is his stubborness and his insistance that he " still has the same nimbleness and cat-like grace" that he had in high school.

This persistantly mis-guided "body image" has made for some pretty funny stuff which centers around his clumsy antics during our many fishing trips...

One evening as the sun was setting and the river tide was going out... ( prime Walleye time!)

My buddy and me had decided to climb down and walk across the muddy rocks to the river's edge so that we would be in a great position for some low- tide casting.

As it was getting dark, my buddy decided to fuel and light the Coleman lantern that he always brought along for nighttime fishing.

Lantern lit, we proceded to walk across the wet and muddy rocks, him in front of me by a good 15 feet, lighting the way...

My footing had become kind of slippery by now and I really couldn't see where to place my feet without falling, so I called out to my buddy to slow down and be careful...

He was now a shadow in front of me with the light of the lantern by his side as he shouted back...

"Damn, you always worry about
everything!" and "Quit your bitchin' and keep up with me!" and the fatal, "There's no way you can fall down hereeeeeeeeeer..........

I saw the lantern's light rising up into the night sky like some giant type of firefly. It's flames rose- seemingly in slow motion, to a height of about 20 feet or so...

I also heard my buddy's voice saying " Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" This was followed big "Whoomp" as his butt hit the ground!

The Coleman lantern finally allowed gravity to rule and also fell to ground and exploded into brilliant flames all over the rocks!

I collapsed to the ground with laughter so furiously powerful that I thought I was going to die! (You, know... the kind of laughter that won't let you breathe!)

Needless to say, my buddy only only made it worse by angrily chanting " Ya think that's funnny, don't cha?" over and over again!:)

He was mad at me for a week, and that's a good thing, cuz I couldn't talk to him anyway, I was still laughing!
Sep 24th 2007 14:12