The Big Small Things



By Nick Grimshawe



 
 
When we think about people who have made a difference in the
world we tend to think of the “big names”, like Mother Theresa, Mahatma Gandhi,
Martin Luther King Jr. and many of the great names in history. We seldom think
of Aunt Edith, or cousin Ray, or Granddad White. Rarely do we rate ourselves
among the earthmovers or world shakers. Yet, we touch lives every day, with our
tiny kindnesses, which often lead to profound changes of which, we remain
forever ignorant. 
 
You wish a stranger, you pass in the street, a good day with
a smile. That smile and good wishes change that person’s outlook on life. Maybe
it isn’t so bad after all. Instead of carrying out their plan to take their own
life, they decide instead to seek help. Years later they win the Nobel Peace
prize. You never realize your simple courtesy changed the course of a life.
 
Here is a true-life story as related by a regional sales
manager at a business meeting held not too long ago.
 
The regional manager talked about the stress of presenting
businesses plans to a group of your peers, especially if you are new to your
position. He talked about a new sales manager, he just wanted to make
comfortable because he could see they were nervous.
 
He asked the sales manager if she had any successes on her
first few weeks on the job.
 
“Nothing really big.”
 
“Well did you do any coaching that led to a change in
behaviour?”
 
“Well,” began the sales manager shyly, “ I did talk to an
associate about not speaking to her customers. I wanted to find out why she
didn’t speak very often to our customers, which created a situation where she
was viewed as an underperforming associate.”
 
The new sales manager heard the stories on the sales floor
that this associate would never make it. They didn’t think she could succeed
because she refused to talk to the customers unless she absolutely had to.
 
Instead of going in with the intention of moving the
associate off the sales floor, she decided to first find out why the associate
didn’t talk to other customers.
 
The sales manager took the person off the sales floor, sat
her down in an office, and made sure the associate was comfortable.
 
The sales manager described the behaviour she observed, then
asked the associate why she didn’t want to talk to her customers.
 
“It’s my accent,” she replied. “I have a terrible accent and
I am afraid that people won’t understand me, so I try to help the customer
without speaking to them.”
 
“But you have a wonderful accent, I can understand you
easily. Your accent makes you sound very worldly. I am sure our customer would
have no trouble understanding you.”
 
“Do you really think so?”
 
“Yes of course. I want you to go back out their and talk to
every customer you see.”
 
So, the associate went back out onto the sales floor and began
to talk to the customers. The customer commendations started flooding in and
the associate was thrilled to have found her voice.
 
As far as the story goes, this is a great success. Just by
listening to the associate and seeking to understand the why behind her
behaviour, the sales manager made a profound change in her life. But the story
doesn’t end there.
 
The associate had a young son she walked to school every
morning. As they walked to school, the son wondered why his mother never spoke
to anyone. He was proud of his Mum but with her strange behaviour, she began to
embarrass him. He began to dread going to school with his mother. He wanted her
to talk to the other parents and his teachers. The other kids at school made
comments. He began to think of ways to discourage his mother from taking him to
school.
 
Then a miracle happened. As they walk to the school, shortly
after his mother had talked to the sales manager at work, she began to say
hello to other parents and introduce herself. Soon everyone knew who she was
and began to ask her to come to events at the school. She started to socialize
with other parents.
 
Overjoyed with the change, her son recovered his pride in
his mother and stopped brooding about her behaviour. The quality of his life
changed now he could visit his friends in the neighbourhood because his mother
no longer worried about her accent.
 
Two lives changed because someone took a moment to truly
listen, then to understand the behaviour of another person. The sales manager’s
small, caring action lead to unforeseen positive changes.
 
Don’t belittle your efforts. A smile can change the world. A
simple good morning can spark a flame of inspiration.
 
By your presence and your kindness, you have changed the
world for the better more times, than you can imagine.
 
Thank You.