Why Boundaries Are So Frickin’ Important For All Men and Women

You teach people how you want to be treated

One of the best public speakers I have ever seen is named Lisa Nichols. She is a woman who is extraordinary and helped me overcome some major obstacles in myself. Inside of that powerful moment, she said, “You are the demonstration for how people should treat you. If you wonder why people treat you a certain way, it’s because you have shown them that it’s okay to do that.”

Hmm. I thought that’s pretty simple. But it sounded simpler than it seemed when I first considered it.

Turns out, if you don’t like the way someone is treating you, its a boundaries issue and  you have to tell them or show them that you accepted it before, but that you won’t anymore.

Seems simple enough right? But then will test you. And they might test you again and again. Why? They are checking to see if you really mean it. “Are you really serious about this new line you are drawing?” is what they’re asking.

This was tough for me, because I always wanted to be the ‘nice guy’ and ‘do the right thing’. But you know what? If you want to grow in your relationships or in your life… If you want to change the way you interact with others, You will have to hold yourself to a new standard of respect and treatment from others.

Another one of my mentors Robert Chun  used to say, “What are you a request for?” Actually he said, “Everything on this planet is a request for something. A door is a request to be opened. A chair is a request to be sat upon. A pen is a request to be written with. Just the same, a person is a request for something.” (Are you a request for love or a great relationship? Are you displaying the emotions and behaviours of someone who wants to be loved?) You can be a request to be treated poorly, fairly, greatly or equally. A millionaire is a request for wealth, and maybe even opulence. I am a request for great people in my life. I am a request to be heard. If I’m not heard I feel abandoned.

So what are you a request for? Make some notes people… If you are looking for more space, more energy, more freedom, than you are probably in need of instating some boundaries with certain people. Which people? Negative or toxic people to start.

The golden rule is “Treat others how you want to be treated.” And think of Karma “What goes around definitely comes around.” Why do you think that is?  Really, by now, in today’s day and age, we shouldn’t be wondering this anymore. We have seen in the world today, how things really are. You don’t need to look far to see how we are treating people, and how people treat us in return. Everything is cyclical. The universe is a mirror, its a reflection. Actually turns out, it really is a hologram. 

Can you see how important it is to realize how you treat others and treat yourself?

One woman I worked with wanted to attract a man who knew his worth, was confident, successful and who honoured himself. I simply explained that a man who knows himself and honours himself, will want to be with a woman who honours herself and knows herself as well. At the moment, my assessment was that she did not honour herself very much. I was right. It quickly became apparent that she allowed people to take and take and take from her. Once we discovered this, we worked on her boundaries. We looked at where and with whom she needed to establish boundaries to set a new condition of respect from others and respect for herself. Once we did this, things started to happen for her.

For now… institute some boundaries with people who don’t add very much value to your life.

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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