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Many people feel abandoned since they were young. Why? If your parents can’t take care of you, send you to your grandma’s house, grandparents’ house, or a full-care kindergarten. In your little heart, you still feel that you have been abandoned-"There must be something wrong with me and my parents will abandon me." This is a pain, and it is a great pain for us when we were young. We hide it well, hidden deep in our hearts. When we grow up, our careers, relationships, and life are all very good, and the pain of being abandoned has long been stuffed into the corner by us. But those pains will always be there, and heads will pop up from time to time to remind you that there are so many unhealed pains.
How can we heal ourselves? How should we face the shame and fear in ourselves from childhood?
Am i abandoned
The first step in healing is to have awareness, the ability to perceive, and realize that one has the feeling of being abandoned. For example, if you have three good friends, the three of them went out to watch a movie and did not find you. You feel that you are abandoned. Some of our inner thoughts are likely to cause tension in the relationship. But if you are willing to be with this feeling of abandonment, you can realize that they just get together to watch a movie by accident. In fact, they are all your good friends, they are very good to you and love you very much. Then go and say to them: "The three of you are not looking for me when you watch movies." The energy at this time is completely different from the energy that was justified, as if to seek justice, of course, the results will also exist. A big difference.
Actually he didn't abandon you
When I was over three years old, there were very few cozy scenes in my family. One morning, suddenly it was strange that our family sat on the bed and started talking. Mom and Dad said some jokes. For my childhood, it was too warm. But the problem is, I held a pee at that time. I knew that if I got up to go to the bathroom to urinate, my mother would definitely go to the kitchen and my father would be busy with his affairs, so the warm scene would be lost.
I didn’t want to see this scene, and ended up peeing on the bed. Then my dad picked me up, pulled me to the door of my house, closed the door and said, “I don’t want your daughter anymore.” I was in the corridor. She cried miserably and was terrified. To me, that means death. This incident has carved a deep mark in my heart, so I am very afraid of men abandoning me. When I look for someone, I always look for the kind that loves me very much.
Later, I ran into my lover, who also loved me very much, would not abandon me, and met my standards. However, every time I had an argument or quarrel with him, he hid in his cave and used cold violence on me, completely indifferent. When this happens, I will get angry. When he hid in the hole, I took the "pole" to poke him, and forced him out of the hole in various ways.
One time when I was meditating, I thought of this and realized that when he turned his back to me, ignored me, and hid in the cave, I felt like I was back to the role of the crying little girl in the corridor. Can't bear the feeling of being abandoned at all. After being aware of this, whenever the little girl came out, I would comfort her and take care of her—"It’s okay, he just needs a little time. In fact, he didn’t abandon you. If you want to cry, cry, you can stay. Here, do nothing, just feel and accept the feeling of being abandoned."
All the abundance comes from our heart
In fact, everyone has the fear of being abandoned until now.
After growing up with this kind of mental behavior, we are still a "beggar". It's just that the object of our "begging" this time has become a friend, lover, colleague, boss, and even a waiter you met when you went out. Because you are accustomed to please everyone, to get everyone's approval, this is like a dog wagging its tail, like a beggar, courting everywhere. But we didn't realize that in fact all love, all abundance comes from our hearts.
Feel how your body feels right now
So, when someone says something, the projected eyes make you feel uncomfortable, or something you do makes you feel uncomfortable, especially this is the right thing, we should cultivate the inner power How to make yourself a real adult? One of the easiest ways is to return to your body and feel your body when these negative emotions such as guilt, anger, anger, insult, and abandonment come, and we habitually want to escape. a feeling of.
Now, take your breath to this most uncomfortable part, inhale deeply, exhale slowly, like a gentle hand, use your breath to gently soothe your most uncomfortable part, follow Stay together in the most uncomfortable place of your body and tell it: "I'm here, with you. It's okay, you can hurt, you can be tight, you can be uncomfortable, I allow you to exist as it is." Just like you Stay together.
Go back to the past, go back to the deepest part of your heart, there is a quiet typhoon point, the center of all chaos, where the violent storms outside can't enter, only you and yourself stay quietly. Then feel the uncomfortable parts of your body again and see if that feeling has left. If it is under your attention, it is still uncomfortable. It doesn't matter, give it your smile and tell it: "You can exist, you are allowed to exist." Then slowly feel it, letting go bit by bit. Feel it when you feel upset and irritable. Get up every morning or before going to bed at night, sit still for 10 to 15 minutes with yourself.
Created on Jan 8th 2021 20:06. Viewed 176 times.