Build Better Rapport With Your Networkby Scotty Rushing Certified Life/Business Coach
Think of your communication with others as something very much like a radio transmitter. If you're not on the same frequency as the person you are communicating with there won't be much give-and-take. If their personal station is set to 103.5 FM and your dial is on 98.6 FM, what's going to be the result? You're either getting a lot of static or a program that doesn't interest you, right? Communication is exactly like that. We need to be on the same frequency with the people we're trying to reach.
You can't change other people so forget about dialing them down to 98.6! It won't work. What you can do, however, is change your own frequency to match theirs. This is how you do it.
We all shape our understanding of the world around us by something we in NLP refer to as a modality. Your modality is how you relate to the world and process information. There are five of them, but you'll find that almost everyone uses one of the following modalities:
To help you remember, simply use the acronym VAK.
Visual people process information in terms of what they see. Auditory people relate best to things they hear. Kinesthetics are the folks who process with their feelings.
To increase your ability to communicate with others you need to match your communication to their modality. There's a very simple method to start doing this right away.
First, you need to determine the modality they use. You do this by listening. People tend to reveal their modality in their speech. Below are phrases to listen for which will reveal how a person processes information.
"I see what you mean."
"That's not my view."
"I'll keep an eye on it."
"This looks like a good opportunity."
"I hear you."
"That sounds good to me."
"That doesn't ring a bell."
"It has a ring of truth to it."
"I feel you."
"This doesn't feel right to me."
"Try this on for size."
There are numerous examples for each modality, but if you will practice with everyone you meet you'll soon find it very easy to determine their modality. Once you do that, you simply change your own speech and methods to reflect that modality. Talk to visual person in terms of what they can see. Paint them a picture. These people respond well to visual presentations. Auditory people are going to be very keyed in on what you say. These folks respond best to presentations that involve audio or music.
Kinesthetic people will at times be a challenge because you need to approach them in terms of what they feel. If you can communicate with them in a way that involves their emotions they will respond in an amazing way. You need to touch them with heartfelt words and gestures. As you talk to them do not be afraid to place a hand on their back or lead them by the arm. They need to truly feel what you are trying to say.
This is a way to instantly increase rapport with your network and build your communication skills.
Created on Oct 24th 2011 10:27. Viewed 490 times.
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