Socks Are Really Space Aliens

Sock Warning

The Socks Have A Plan

Socks are really space aliens. They landed on this planet thousands of years ago, with the sole purpose of taking over earth. Hold your horses! Before you call the men in the white coats, hear me out.

Point #1 Gas Warfare. You know that people's feet smell because of socks. Oh people say it's the shoes, but it's the socks for sure. I'm sure many a time someone's foot oder just about took you out forever.

Point #2 Germ Warfare. Socks provide a breeding ground for all kinds of germs. A nice warm, moist area is perfect for Athlete's foot and other diseases. Oh, they tell you it's from showers, but that's just propaganda released by the socks.

Point #3 Economic Warfare. How many times have you washed socks to only have one disappear? That's the socks attacking or financial stability. Do you realize the thousands of dollars that are spent on sock replacement? The money spent on medical costs from the stress we go through looking for the missing sock. Not to mention the disappointment of not finding it. All this money could be invested in a defense system that would repel the socks when they attack.

Point #4 Spies. Where do you think these missing socks go? Don't think too hard. I have the answer. They sneak out and do reconnaissance. They are mapping our waterways, electrical grid, our whole infrastructure. We will be defenseless when they attack.

Point #5 Violence. How many of us have had a toe poke through a hole in our sock? How does the hole get there? The sock is protected by the shoe. It's a form of sock attack. You leave that toe in that hole long enough and the circulation will stop. Doctor's will be amputating you blackened toe."One toe at a time" is the sock battle cry. Take our ten toes and we can't run. Easy prey for the sock invasion.

You can see that my arguments have merit. Now we must organize and defeat (oh bad pun) the evil socks. Until that time comes build your bomb shelters. Stock up on food and water. Above all............start going barefoot.

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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Comments

Paula van Dun   Retired I love this one. Very original. Jun 9th 2011 04:20

rich weber   oneline business Thank You Paula. Jun 9th 2011 04:24

Paula van Dun   Retired I have just shared it. Do you have more funny stories? I'd love to read some more Jun 9th 2011 04:26

rich weber   oneline business I'll be posting more. My mind is so twisted (in a good way) that I find humor in just about everything. Jun 9th 2011 04:36

Muriel & Graham Legg   Make your website mobile friendly All I can say to those pesky socks is - shoo Jun 9th 2011 05:28

Philippe Moisan   Tutorial videos, sci-fi writer Just to let you know, one member, Babu, created a group, use search tool and search for "laugh" ( without the quotes ) to find it. You can post your jokes there. :) Jun 9th 2011 06:31

Brenda W.   Life Learner Oh my! I must say...I love this article. LOL... I never thought feet stank because people wore socks. I always wore socks to keep my feet from stinking. Very informative article. Jun 9th 2011 06:39

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance My penchant for going barefoot is rewarded. However you did not mention that the Shoe and the sock are allies! The shoes do the actual torture work for the socks! They pinch your toes. and if you don't think the shoe is our enemy, ask any woman who has been walking around all day on heels. They higher the heel the more effective the torture! Jun 9th 2011 08:50

Muriel & Graham Legg   Make your website mobile friendly Self imposed Cheryl? Jun 9th 2011 13:41

Philippe Moisan   Tutorial videos, sci-fi writer Why do women wear high heels? Is there someone interested in looking at her when she does ? LOL Jun 9th 2011 19:56