The Secret of Nothing

by Mohann Krish A secret is something that is hidden or concealed or a mystery. Right from our childhood days, all of us have known what a 'secret' is. I think I know something - and I think only I know it. But I cannot keep it to myself for long. So, I tell my best pal and make him promise to keep it a 'secret'. In course of time, the 'secret' gets back to me. The psychology of secrets is, itself, a mystery - nay, a 'secret'.

The Secret Virus

Now, next to the dreaded Trojan virus is the 'secret' virus. All of us get emails daily from nowhere promising some 'secret' to be revealed about online business, only to us. This virus comes with a browser tracking cookie which is declared an infection by my anti-virus software. I wonder whether this, indeed, was the secret. Psychologically, I assure myself I must, indeed, be healthy to face so many viruses boldly - that too, daily.

The Origin Of The Secret

If I analyze objectively, I am the origin of the secret. I visit a website and out of the blue something pops up or down asking for my name and email address promising me to deliver the secret of making $ 1000 daily like nobody's business. Some of the most optimistic poppers go to the extent of putting me to sleep without a bother because I am assured my bank balance will not just swell but overflow even while I am asleep. I start pitying the poor souls who would, religiously and mercilessly, be clicking my Clickbank affiliate links all night. Till a few days ago, it was the maverick doctor who was said to be milking Google Inc. dry, day in and day out with his free AdWords technique. Now, a 13-year old claims to be giving sleepless nights to the geniuses of the 'secret club'.

The truth is: I give in! Pronto, I am asked to go check my email and confirm whether I am the same person. We have heard of slavery to freedom. It is the other way round here. Like a slave, I rush to see my mail. Now the rascal has ditched me into the mechanical hands of an auto-responder and has himself moved on to the next gullible prey. A few words about how so lucky I am to be among the last (or first?) 250 spots to grab this free gift or a book full of the latest wisdom on how-to-get-on-top-of-Google-and-never-get-down. I wonder how it would be sitting on somebody for a while. Just as I am happy, comes a warning - wait! There is a twist here. I would be kissing goodbye to a one-time offer of fortune if I do not press the pay button. The free book I download is junk not enabling me even to sit at the feet of Google, leave alone, on its top. I look at the recommendations of the Jacks and the Jills singing odes and hymns to the 'great brain' and start wondering whether they really existed. So, a day comes to an end with nothing to count.

The Enigma Of The Secret

Psychologists must decipher this enigma. What makes me feel making money is easy on the internet without doing any work? Is it thermodynamically possible to derive energy without doing any work? Is it innate inertia or natural animal avarice that drives me towards non-work? Is it my birth right to get cheated? Why doesn't it cross my mind that I would never hand over my money-making machine to anybody else? As long as I am gullible, the seductive and prowling Satan will pop-up or pop-under from nowhere on the internet like a leech. This time around, however, he comes in the disguise of the 'Secret'.

"The Secret, my dear Watson," Sherlock Holmes would have said, "is nothing."
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Disclaimer: Written in pure jest - no offence whatsoever meant to anyone!

(Previously published in the AssociatedContent.Com)

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Created on Dec 31st 1969 18:00. Viewed 0 times.

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