Great Expectations

Jennifer Underwood   Promoter
For the longest time...I heard 'Great Expectations lead to Great Disappointments'
And so for many years....I just didn't expect or achieve to even think to. Hmm.....

So now I am replacing that with 'Great Expectations may lead to Great disappointments...but those great disappointments lead to great accomplishments...that than lead to GREAT ACHIEVEMENTS THAT THEN LEAD TO GREATNESS'

I think this teacher followed the second rule......
that is such a cool story!
:0)
Jan 3rd 2008 22:21   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Thanks Jennifer,

I liked it cause it had something to offer, how we think we determine our results ...............So why not think like a winner and create better over all results in your life...........It all starts on how we think..................sounds so easy but the story tells you that it really is that easy...............
Jan 3rd 2008 22:24   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Attitude makes or breaks us
Jan 4th 2008 07:42   

Sonya Smith   
Great story!!
I have been trying really hard to change my attitude and be more positive. I've noticed that it works in so many subtle ways.
Jan 4th 2008 14:11   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Hi Sonya & cheryl,

If attutide has a way of controlling our destination how come we don't spend more time on it...........If it has the ability to lead us to where we want to go or achieve a certain goal.......How come we don't program our minds to do what we want it to do it..............The story will indicate that if we think that way it will leads us to what we want or desire..................ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS; " IT'S AN INTERESTING CONCEPT"!!!!!!......................
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Jan 5th 2008 20:35   

Jennifer Underwood   Promoter
Because Joseph....as with me, I was brought up thinking other wise.

But great people like you and many others...are REMINDING US...that THIS is our mind, and WE DO control it!
I love it :0)


Jan 6th 2008 00:38   

Jean DAndrea   Retired
Great story, Joseph. If you expect more from life, or people, often
they or life will supply it.

Jean
Jan 6th 2008 01:35   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Thanks Jennifer and Jean,

Yes we can all change our thoughts it takes time, effort and most of all the desire to change...............it will never occure unless you want it bad enough...............l think you understand what l am getting at..................like Nike says, "JUST DO IT".......and it has the correct sign beside it........how clever is that................made'nothing but......... $$$$$$
Jan 6th 2008 12:13   

Robin Watson   prof
Excellent lesson - and so true. I grew up listening to my father telling me that whatever I chose to do in life, I had to have a plan B in case the first didn't work out. That, to me, was just a set-up for failure (although it wasn't his intention) because it put the idea in my mind that whatever I wanted to do "might not work."

I do the exact opposite with my kids. I tell them they can do anything they want if they want it badly enough. They are both achievers (notice I didn't say over-achievers, which is what I was), and I rarely hear them say "I can't do it."

Robin
Feb 29th 2008 12:19   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Hi Robin,

Thank you for you kind words, l actually was along them lines also never really brough homework home drove my dad up the way. Then the report card came in and he never said too much. My son is a sports nut like me, playing some pretty competitive hockey and soccer at a pretty high level. But what l am most impressed with him is he making the Reach For The Top team at school. Where they compete against other schools in different subjects, his is of course sports, math, history. This made me really proud of him and his accomplishments at school. He has his sights of one day going to Michigan where his grand father teaches in Ann Arbor, l told him that a scholarship is the way to go........Hope he got the message.........
Feb 29th 2008 12:44   

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty
Expectations.

What a very passive word that is.

Once again we have a little story that assumes that we are not what we can be and that the story teller is the only one who knows it.

One of the most DESTRUCTIVE aspects I am finding in modern life is this innate need of others to imply that they know something about us that WE don't know.

There was a time it was EXPECTED that any effort you made would be the greatest you possibly could if it was in your own or your family's interest.

Now - look around you - there are thousands of people with one aim in life - to tell you how YOU are failing and how THEY know why and how to fix it.

Isn't anybody else aware of the aspect of sheer conceipt in the teller and the enormous contempt in which he or she holds the told?

I have a daughter who can play any musical instrument by ear. Her gift was very nearly destroyed when a music teacher insisted that she play the instruments in the traditional way and learn to read music in the traditional way and loath music lessons - almost in the traditional way.

That teacher got an ear-full from me and a challenge. The challenge was to out-play my daughter in a blind test (the judging audience would not know who was playing). To make it fair, I chose a piece of music that neither had heard before and ensured that neither had the score while they were playing. They each could listen to it twice.

My daughter played first - her music teacher capitulated and didn't even try to compete.

People who used to be drips under pressure (experts) should first know themselves before they have the cheek to claim to know you better than you know yourself.

The self improvement industry is destroying latent talent and binding too many people into an endless search for something they cannot visualise. they only know they are looking because they are paying to be taught to look - not to find.

People have two feet - it's about time they remembered how to stand on them.
Feb 29th 2008 13:55   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Arthur,

Very interesting concept, why would it be anything else from you, your a passinate writer who speaks his mind and tells it like is. Most of the people not only are not able to stand on their own two feet, l feel most of them do not even realize they have two feet too stand on.

I agree with what your saying about people are always so happy to tel you all that is wrong with you and give you all the advise in the world on how to fix your problems. Perhaps of these poeple should also apply these wonderful skills they so badly want to share with you to them selfs....

I could just see you with your daughters teacher and the look he/she had when you put her to the chellenge. Your daughter has some incredible talent that you have noticed and certianly have encourage her to be able to take full advantage of her talents. As l have said many times Arthur your a very wise man.........Proud of you man.......you have made think today......thank you.......
Mar 1st 2008 12:51   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Arthur I got something a little different out of this than you did. In this case the teacher went into the situation with a pre-conceived notion albeit the wrong one. The teacher working from the assumption that she was dealing with geniuses treated them accordingly. The kids were challenged by their schoolwork and excelled.

I see this as more of a case of what happens when you make assumptions.
Mar 1st 2008 21:24   

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty
Hi, Cheryl,

The story is apocryphal. It never happened. It was written to justify yet another book by yet another self styled expert trying to tell his audience that he knew better then them how to improve themselves. (Expletives deleted!!!!)

It has nothing to do with expectations.

It has nothing to do with assumptions.

IT HAS EVERYTHING TO DO WITH LYING TO GET YOUR OWN WAY OR 'PROVE' A POINT.

What would have happened, I wonder, if the locker numbers had been between 45 and 75.


Mar 2nd 2008 05:10   

Jenny Stewart   
This is an interesting debate for a weekend!

I certainly read the article on its face value the first time - and yes it is clear that it is always better to try to teach children to get the best out of themselves and not the minimum.

In the western world We certainly seem to be turning into a society of minimums. We do the minimum required - like children who aim to pass exams and not get good marks and people who work the minimum to get paid and no more. And in many places we have a society which has turned into an "entitlement" society - which expects in exchange for nothing.

However I would not wish this to be taken to mean that I wish to get rid of the basic entitlements of the rights to health care, food and education, etc. - in fact I wish these basics to continue to increase world wide. I am referring to what happens AFTER the safety net of these basics has been provided.

What really has "flipped me out" after reading Arthurs post is that he is probably right!

Like so many other motivational stories - it probably never happened, but has been invented to promote a philosophy of the writer (and /or his business)

And it makes you wonder how many of the other motivational stories and techniques are based on wishful thinking and the desire to earn out of them and NOT on facts.

Jenny
Mar 2nd 2008 05:50   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
She would have treated them like morons. Unfortunately as a product of the American school system and having raised a daughter in that same school system( and as a class volunteer the whole time), I understand how the teachers work. They base their curriculum on accommodating the weakest pupil not the strongest.

It's a little failed experiment called mainstreaming. They do not separate slow, mildly learning disabled or behaviorally distracting students from the main body of the students. The majority of students are held back by catering to the worst students in the class. curricula are created accordingly.

Yes I know this is just a fable, but a again it does show what happens when you make assumptions a little nicer than the old saying "You make an a__ out of you and me."
Mar 2nd 2008 08:32   

Joseph Botelho   Investing One Gram at a Time
Hello,

I would have to agree, with what most has been said, but the only thing l know is that sometimes motivational material can appear to be just a story, that can trig a mind to react to it, in many different ways. Yes more then likely it never happened but the point was clear and made perfect sense to some. Let me give you an example of what l am talking about. Sales is the ability to get another person to say yes to the number you want for what ever your selling. In this case l will use car sales, (Arthur this does happen) a sales person will do everything to sell a vehicle at any cost, forget that gross is an important part of the selling transaction. I use to allow the sales staff to conduct and manage their own deals. The average gross was around $1,200.00, they would look at what l had in that vehicle and take all reconditioning into effect and every deal was within a hundred dollars from the average.

I decide to nothing but change the price of what l had in the vehicle and see what would happen, so l increased every stock card by $1,000.00 guess what my average gross was now at $2,200.00. So l took it one step further l increased it all by another $500.00 just to see if l was on to something. Wow now my average gross became $2,700.00 per vehicle, simple change allow this to happen. The salesperson didn't do anything different then he had been doing just, worked a little harder to get what he though was what he was allow to do......

This very simple step made my department a lot of additional money not on till they got their bonus check at the end of the month that they notice what had happened. They all came up to me and said hey Joe there is a problem with my check , l look at them and said what is the problem. I think you paid me a lot more then l should of made, l looked at their check and said no it's right, you have earned. Are you sure l said yes l am, oh really, yes really anything us no.....Just proved a point if you think you know what you need to get, to make a sale you will do it, regardless of what the true amount is, the mind works in a funny way. They had no idea l had increased the stock cards, by $1,500.00, they just went about their business like any other day, no questions asked, just got the job done and made them selves more money in the process and yes made me more also.

So to this day, l work the same way l mark everything up let them work their deals, it is all in the mind how one we react to certain situations. Why, not really sure, it is all about it being a comfort zone, if you think you should only make $300 per car then that is all your worth deal after deal........We sell our self's short in our abilities..........Robert Swhartz, wrote a book on The Magic of Thinking Big..........and l have adapted many of his thoughts over the course of my life......
Mar 2nd 2008 12:48   

Arthur Webster   Just plain honesty
Hi, Cheryl,

She would have treated them like morons.

With that one line you condemn the teaching profession AND us, as parents.

We get the teachers we deserve and if parents are not prepared to stand up for the rights of their children to a proper education - THEY HAVE NO RIGHT AT ALL TO CONSIDER THEMSELVES "PARENTS".

I have always been a straight talker. Prevarication simply is not an option.

Straight talking gets results.

Straight talking gets you listened to.

Straight talking shows that you are someone to contend with.

Straight talking shows that you have opinions and expect them to be respected or (properly) repudiated.

Straight talking, if you are the only one prepared to see a problem and denounce it, can get you the reputation of being "awkward". (This word was used by several teachers about me - At one point I was able to use their lack verbal dexterity and facility with the English language to cause school inspectors to reassess a favourable report given to a very unfavourable school.)

Straight talking brooks no nonsense.

Straight talking does not circumlocute - although people speaking out of frustration and anger often do. But, then, they are not talking straight, they are talking emotionally.

The world is not full of victims. It is full of too many people who have too much time to think up too many excuses for not doing what they knew they should have done at the time they should have done it.

Systems either work or they need to be changed.

Unfortunately, too many people see a system that needs changing and are not willing to attempt to change it themselves.

It only takes one voice of reason to cause the collapse of any edifice built to professional mediocrity and incompetence because, used properly, that voice will bring out the trumpets that will cause the walls to fall down.

Some things in life have to be fought for - the future of our children is one of them.

Correct me if I am wrong
Mar 2nd 2008 13:09   

Cheryl Baumgartner   Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
No I'm condemning an educational system that forces curriculum to be based on the lowest student. Mainstreaming means that they combine all students into the same class not allowing for the brighter students to have a curriculum that challenges them,or slower students to have the necessary time spent on basics.

And it is impossible for a teacher to teach when she is occupied with trying to keep disruptive students from causing problems or trying to help the slow students grasp basics. What happens is that the students who have grasped basics and are ready to move on must now wait for the slower students to catch up. It's part of the whole dumbing down process.

I personally volunteered in the classroom throughout the time Gayle was in school until I moved her to collegiate high school. More than half of the class time was spent maintaining order. Believe me these kids don't care about a trip to the principal's office. What is he going to do? He certainly cannot punish them. The students have more "rights" than anyone in the school system.

All students are suffering because of this mainstreaming of students to protect their precious little egos. Children who fail a grade get a social promotion because it might hurt their little feelings to hold them back a grade, instead everyone else (teachers, students, administration) has to cater to "Dumb Donald" who should have been made to repeat the grade.

But then again teachers are not teaching curriculum anymore they are teaching tests. Education is all about politics and finances. So yes a teacher bases her class on the dumbest student. The teacher doesn't want to offend Dumb Donald because Donald's parents will hire a lawyer to sue her and the school system, and we all know who will be on the losing end of that battle.
Mar 2nd 2008 15:26   

Robin Watson   prof
Arthur,

I agree with you for the most part about "straight talking." However, there are many, many communication styles among the folks around us. There are quite a few people I come in contact with who I would not "straight talk." Why? Because based on my observation and perception of how they process information, straight talk will either intimidate them, or confuse them.

A good communicator is someone who can relay needed information to his/her audience. Most of the time, that can be done using directness and straight talking. There are times, however, when it's best to use your personal barometer to determine what the listener needs to understand what you're saying.

And Cheryl, your definition of mainstreaming is incorrect. That may have been your experience in the school your daughter attended, but that is certainly not the norm. I also volunteer in my childrens' classroom and see the benefits of mainstreaming (now referred to as integration). After all, if you put all the kids with mental retardation and other disabilities in a class together, what do they learn? How to act like other kids with disabilities?

The key to making "mainstreaming" work is having appropriate support in the classrooms. That, unfortunately, is where most school districts fall short. My daughter is in the top of her 4th grade class - brings home As and A+s, and participates in the gifted program. Also in her classroom, are two boys with severe learning disabilities. Neither of them can read. This has in NO way affected her performance in school. In fact, she often helps these two boys by reading their tests to them. Not only does she never complain about this "job," she feels proud to be able to help them.

Robin
Mar 4th 2008 09:26