Candiru Catfish- Whether You Have A "Hoo-Ha" Or A 'Woo-Woo" This Vamp/Fish Will Give You The "Willie
I'm creating this blog at the request of Cheryl (P_P_L Cheryl) who believes that it will serve as a pubic.... make that-- Public Service, as it were... My attitude is one of amazement and humour that such a creature exists:
The Candiru is one of several species of Vampiric/Carnivourous tiny catfishes that are known to inhabit warm, mainly stillwater ponds and lakes in South America. It is by their documented feeding habits, That they make even the feared and more widly known Pirahna look like cute little guppies in comparison...
This fish is known for it's infamous attacks on unsuspecting bathers genitalia ( Hoo-Ha's and Woo-Woo's-- I'm cleaning up the language for the sake of the censors...)
This tiny monster is attracted to the urine and blood of Humans and other animals and is known as a fast and powerful little swimmer... It's size of about 3 to 4 inches and less than 1/4 inch wide is what makes it dangerous to Humans...
This scale-less, smooth little Dracula/Tasmanian Devil combo can insert itself in the Urethra of Males and the Va-Jay-Jay's ( Thanks, Oprah) of Females and expand it's backward facing, sharp fins to make removal by hand impossible... It will then start sucking blood and eating all the flesh it can consume, causing severe damage and even death to itself and it's unlucky host...
http://youtube.com/watch?v=eSLKZzuLC00
Although the Candiru's normal prey is usually other fish-- It goes after their gills, this beastie really isn't concerned about where it's meal is coming from, I would advise you folks who happen to vacation in areas like this, to wear Industrial Strength bathing gear, and please "Hold Your Water" until you can relieve yourselves safely.
More about this monster:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru
Why a Candiru will probably not want to attack me...
My coffee is so darn powerful that I have to chase down the damn pot and hit it with a heavy object in an attempt to subdue it long enough so's I can pour a cup of the stuff to drink...
My fluidic features also contain a measurable amount of Electricity, as a result of being whacked by lighting years ago... It is said that "Whatever doesn't kill you, makes you stronger!"
So "Bring It!" Mr, Candiru! I've got an "Electric EEL " Just-a-waitin' for Ya! LOL! :)
Post Your Ad Here
Comments (22)
joann992
Or A road sign saying Do you know where your going? Oh my I have to see more about this gross , But I love it Candiru Catfish. I cerintly wouldn't want 1 or the thought of 1 in or can go u know .... Va-Jay, ahhhh ja!
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Please don't make me go there! LOL! :)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Earwigs, Candiru.....All we need now are the flatworms, hookworms and tapeworms to have a parasite paradise!
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
Jean (Snakesmum) Your mention of Earwigs reminded me of the Candiru... There are few things on Earth that really weird me out, but these two... The "Creep-fest Twins" for sure! :)
NMH ( Jennifer) -- If you go to Brazil, just remember to drink A LOT of coffee, as they have some very strong stuff there, also see if you can get some electrical massage therapy, to charge the currents in your body.... I really don't recommend getting struck by Lightening just to go on vacation...
By the way,
Jean DAndrea7
Retired
Thanks Peaceful, I think I just lost any desire to go swimming anywhere
near the Amazon, or anywhere else in South America!
Thought piranhas and giant anacondas would be scary enough, but
these things are gross.
They'd certainly keep swimmers out of your private pool though.........
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
Well after this one...and seeing Touristas.....Seriously thinking twice about going to Brazil now!
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT YOU LADIES! :)
You are Spunky, Sporting, Spirited and Smart! Love the way you guys pounce on a "Grossout" subject! :)
1. Juenelle- There was a movie called "Rabid " that starred Marilyn Chambers- an adult film star who turned Hollywood-- The creature in that film was based on this animal... I might have the movie in my "B" movies blog. Yecchhh!
2. NMH (Jennifer) The Candiru is about the size of a toothpick and some are even smaller and thinner... There is a G
Sonya Smith5
very appropriate that the first Dr was named Johnson (jansen).
Now I will never get my husband to take me to Brazil.
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Forget about the electric fence, don't whizz in the Amazon Basin!
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
LMAO...I had to watch this one again....now I am not even close to being an expert in the human anatomy....but how on earth did something of that size go into..
LMAO...
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
If it wasn't for your request, Cheryl, I would have posted it elsewhere! :)
Can't you just feel the Love? Thanks for the inspiration, I think! ROFLMAO! :)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
Come on this one is just begging for some "Animal House" type humor! See what I get for working at the PD. It's rare to render me speechless!
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
My goodness! That's two Women with no words? Oh my... I can't wait to see what the guys think about this one! LOL! :)
Jennifer Underwood11
Promoter
omg....
I am speechless as well....
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
i simply couldn't make the image of this monster funny enough for a "home pool" type angle... That thought was too scary! LOL! :)
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
I can see the sign at pools world wide "Warning P*** at you own risk." or "Candira present" and under that the universal circle with a line through it and in the center a little shadow man relieving himself!
Owwww my sides hurt LOL!
Cheryl Baumgartner12
Medical Billing/Coding/Insurance
See and here I thought you were going to take the "save money on pool cleaning angle"
Jeff Greene8
Online Marketing Specialist/Consultant
That's what happens to me whenever I discover stuff like this,,, Actually I knew about these fish many, many years ago, but I never thought about writing about them until i entered a contest to go to Colombia and meet Juan Valdez and The Mule... Plus Cheryl's request for an article.... Hope she likes it! :)
Theresa6
For once, I don't know what to say........... ?